Again: Can you help us?

Page One is still looking for answers to a few questions. It’s imperative that we get to the bottom of something. We need your help and we’ll be hammering this matter for weeks to come.

We’re trying to locate a male, possibly now in his 40s, who resides in Louisville or the greater Louisville metro area. He’s from the Oldham/Henry/Trimble County area and his family owned Earl Floyd Ford in Bedford in the 1970s. This gentleman was in his twenties in the 1980s and worked in a downtown Louisville parking garage.

Can anyone help us? If you can, please shoot us an e-mail. Confidentiality is a must and we absolutely don’t want a discussion about the specifics in the comments.

If you’re a blogger: please consider posting a link to our plea.

Reading the Fine Print

From the Intrepid Reporter Dept of Hilarious Shit

Congratulations citizens of Louisville’s 5th district, precincts N104, N105, N107, and N109. You’ve successfully banned alcohol sales in your community.

Unfortunately, you never read the fine print of the ballot, because if you did, well, just take a look:

“Do you want liquor sales in Precinct N xxx of District 5?”***

*** — Ban on liquor will include all alcohol sales as well as sales of wine, wine coolers, bourbon, vodka, bottled water, soda, orange juice, lemonade, Gatorade, Powerade, Red Bull, beef jerky, potato chips, chip dip, Oreos, Nilla Wafers, string cheese, steaks, chicken products, ground beef, corned beef, salami, bubble gum, bubble baths, glass cleaner, floor cleaner, mops, sponges, floss, tooth brushes, tooth paste, tooth whiteners, hand soap, body soap, deodorant, drywall, paint thinner, nails, hammers, irons, ironing boards, dish washing soap, laundry detergent, fabric softener, DVDs, VCRs, all copies of Airplane I, II, and the entire Naked Gun trilogy, the 25th anniversary copy DVD of “All in the Family”, burned DVD copies of Britney Spears lip syncing (though YouTube use is still allowed), K-Fed products, space heaters, space burners, Spaceballs (the movie — Rick Moranis movies tend to make the neighborhood violent), large-screen TVs, flat-screened TVs, TVs from 1975 with the CBS logo burned in, all copies of Senator Mitch McConnell’s 1978 hit song “That’s my Mitchee”, all pictures of Denny Crum dancing with Marcia Brady of “The Brady Bucnh” in the episode shot at King’s Island in Mason, Ohio, tires, rims, any sort of hydraulics, window scrapers, window washers, windows, wind (no, they don’t sell it yet, but it could be dangerous), clipboards, clip art, clippadoos (when they’re created), Alka Seltzer, all manifestos written by people with four names, and all memorabilia from the 1950 University of Kentucky Sagarin computer rankings national football champions team. Members of District 5 have determined all these could be detrimental to the safety of our neighborhood.

Opportunistic Politics?

In light of the recent West End (in Louisville) decision to ban all alcohol sales (Hello, prohibition!), we’re republishing this piece in full from our sister site The ‘Ville Voice.

The wet-dry vote in western Louisville got plenty of media exposure for Cheri Bryant Hamilton of the Metro Council, whose district included the four affected precincts near Shawnee High School. Even before the vote was final, Mary Woolridge and Judy Green of neighboring districts were speculating about precincts upon which they could force a similar vote. It’s a pretty simple process — just get some signatures on petitions, force the vote, and shut down any business that doesn’t fly with your sense of moral values.

The logic in this case seems to be that if you can eliminate liquor sales, then crime problems will naturally go away. Both Woolridge and Green plan to have town hall meetings to discuss the issue as early as October in Districts 1 and 3. Some residents have said they’re frustrated with the state’s Alcoholic Beverage Control office, which too easily grants liquor licenses, in their view.

“They were waiting to see how it turned out (in Shawnee) to see if they would go forward,” said Tony Hyatt, the Metro Council spokesperson.

Don’t be surprised if this becomes a raison d’etre for some Council members. Now that the body has figured out the popularity of banning nudity, smoking, dogs and…coming soon: trans fat, it won’t be long before more sinful activities get the boot. Maybe the Council could get some mileage from opposing gambling. That one’s not working too well for Ernie Fletcher, but if you could restrict to a precinct, it only takes a few hundred votes to win.

The Metro Council’s vision of civic duty seems to be moving toward removing from your life options that could potentially harm you, and it’s playing well with voters. Stephen George, in this week’s LEO, points out the dangers in having politicians making decisions to restrict your choices.

# # #

If you’re completely in awe of the decision to ban the sale of alcohol in just one precinct in the state’s largest city– here are the full details from the Courier-Journal.

Coming up: The Intrepid Reporter tells the voters in District 5 what they’ve done.

Wait. What?

Secret investigation? Steve Beshear’s law firm was the target of a secret investigation relating to the Kentucky Central liquidation. Maybe the longest story every written that leaves you hanging. Mark Nickolas has a few reminders for the public and they mostly point back to Fletcher. [H-L, BGR]

Suing Ernie. Attorney General Greg Stumbo’s lawsuit against Ernie Fletcher for illegally appointing more Republicans than Democrats to university boards makes the rounds every day. Every day there’s a new story. [C-J]

Party switcher. Republican Rep. Milward Dedman of Harrodsburg becomes a Democrat. Republican commenters on the C-J forum cry fowl… then cry a river of tears that their party is in shambles. [C-J]

Shock and awe. Okay, not really, everyone knew No Child Left Behind was a collasal failure. Now we hear it’s incompatible with policies that actually– get this– with policies that actually work. Search the No Child Left Behind Database to see how your child’s school holds up. [C-J]

7 new Human Rights commissioners. Fletcher has appointed newbies to the agency that investigates, well, Human Rights. An amazing thing– victory for minorities– six of the new members are African American. Though, many leaders in the black community are upset Fletcher has let so many commission members go at once. Note that Todd Hollenbach, Democratic candidate for Treasurer, was a commission member. [C-J]

Jim waters: Stomach grumbling? It’s time for a change, not a pill

Stomach grumbling? It’s time for a change, not a pill

By Jim Waters

Dissatisfaction serves as a necessary component of change. Most find change hard and dissatisfaction uncomfortable.

So procrastination usually trumps dissatisfaction. We often simply adapt to avoid the usually messy process of change.

Sometimes it’s necessary to do so – at least temporarily. We have to know for sure that we simply cannot accept the status quo. We count the cost before we pay the price of change.

Read moreJim waters: Stomach grumbling? It’s time for a change, not a pill

Mongiardo finally appears in campaign commercial!

You read it correctly: Daniel Mongiardo is actually appearing in a campaign commercial for the Beshear-Mongiardo ticket!

Nice recycling of “I’m a business man and a lawyer.”

To our disappointment: Dan didn’t get to say much. This guy is popular and keeping him out of the picture is strange. We hope he’s utilized more. And we wonder if Robbie the Tire Baron will ever appear in an ad with Ernie.