101 Ways to Read the News

Fletcher switching gears? Ronnie Ellis suggests Ernest Lee could be moving on to social issues like Jesus, abortion, guns and THE GAYS. OMG!!11! The gays are coming! The gubnuh will save us! [Richmond Register]

Performance and transparency are a bitch. Kentucky Auditor Crit Luallen released a– get this– an audit (of all things) of the High-Tech Construction Pool and High-Tech Investment Pool. While the groups are allegedly funding quality projects? A commission established to monitor the effectiveness of new economic programs has not met since 2003. [Auditor]

Not surprising. The C-J reports home foreclosures in Kentucky will hit record highs. Jefferson County is projected to have 3,125 foreclosure auctions ordered by judges this year, up from last year’s record of 2,710. Bush’s economy is just wonderful. [C-J]

McConnell screws college kids again. The senator was one of just 11 Republicans voting against bringing down college costs. The College Cost Reduction Act of 2007 is the largest student aid investment since the GI Bill. The bill, which McConnell opposed, offers a debt forgiveness program that benefits nurses, teachers and law enforcement. [DSCC]

Almost got the story correct. Joe Gerth reports on the Insight-McConnell matter. He missed that Insight has contributed more than $17,000 to McConnell (far greater than the $10K he quotes). McConnell’s staff still insists that it matters that the iPod-like audio devices shipped to Afghanistan used encrypted audio files. It may come as a surprise to some non-geeks, but, uh, nearly all portable audio players– especially the iPod– use encrypted audio and it has no bearing on what the devices were used for. [C-J]

Shepherd Shears his Sheep!

Dr. James Holsinger – Funnelling Millions from his Church

From the Steve Henry Financial Playbook Dept

Dr. James HolsingerAn investigation into George Bush’s nominee for Surgeon General, gay-hating Dr. James Holsinger, used the sale of a United Methodist Church-owned hospital in Kentucky as a cash cow for his personal ambitions.

It took years of litigation by the church to get to the bottom of what happened to its money, only to learn that Holsinger diverted millions to endow professorships at the Chandler Medical Center at UK where he served as Chancellor and chief fundraiser.

Will the Senate question Holsinger’s ethics?

Daily Scary Briefing Dept.

From the Everybody is Freaking Out About Gays in the Restroom Dept. Are you suffering from public-restroom closet-case gay-sex hysteria? Welcome to America’s newest freakout. ABC News can help! [ABC]

Rational thinking. Steve Beshear believes the decision of offering domestic partner benefits should be left up to universities. Who knew the gays shouldn’t be excluded from receiving health care benefits that they pay for? Or that we shouldn’t legislate discrimination? [WHAS11]

The story that won’t die. Everyone and their mother have to write about Attorney General Greg Stumbo opposing Fletcher’s illegal university appointees. This time it’s the Post. [CP]

Nickel and dimed. The US Dollar has fallen to another three-week low versus the Euro. Declined against all 16 major currencies. We have the amazing Bush housing plan to thank for it. That could never affect Kentucky, though, could it? [Bloomberg]

Making us proud. Former Court of Appeals Judge, now an attorney in Prestonsburg, David Barber tried to arrange a fight between his son and a boy who disagreed with him. Allegedly. [H-L]

Let’s play nice. And maybe tell the truth? The Glasgow Daily Times wonders why both sides of the aisle played nice for the special session. Then goes on to totally ignore the corruption that is the energy bill, praising the tons of jobs for our young people. Yeah, all 300 jobs for our young people! Yeah. That’s the issue we should be talking about when it comes to the special session all right. [GDT]

Southern circuit. Kentucky’s Hart-Lunsford Pictures is sponsoring a film series at the Kentucky Center. The Southern Tour of Independent Filmmakers kicks off the series with “Ritual Etchings” on Sept. 5th. If you’re near Louisville? You can’t beat $6.50. [Kentucky Center]

It’s Raining Men!

An intrepid reporter sent us an e-mail this morning with some very important questions about toilet cruising Senator Larry Craig and his wide stance. They suggested we ask them of various congress critters around Kentucky.

  • “Should a congressman have to resign over a game of footsie?”
  • “Have you been to the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport recently? Do you know stall 4 in Terminal C?”
  • “When Sen. Craig resigns, do you think they should play ‘It’s raining men’?”
  • “Shouldn’t Sen. Craig resign just because he looks like a sex offender?”
  • “Do you think they know of homosexuals in Idaho?”
  • “If Senator Craig is gay, do you think a potato can be gay?”

We think these brilliant and pertinent questions should have been asked of Rep. Yarmuth when he appeared on WHAS11’s noon show yesterday. (Attention Renee Murphy: we were praying you’d ask if he had a wide stance!)

Page One is very interested in finding the answers to these questions. If you have answers to any of them, please let us know so that intrepid young reporter can get more of the story.

[audio:http://pageonekentucky.com/audio/rainingmen.mp3]

UPDATE: Some people have no sense of humor.