ALERT: Gays are Taking Over America

That’s right, kids. That California Supreme Court just struck down the state’s gay marriage ban.

SAN FRANCISCO – The California Supreme Court has overturned a ban on gay marriage, paving the way for California to become the second state where gay and lesbian residents can marry.

The justices released the 4-3 decision Thursday, saying that domestic partnerships are not a good enough substitute for marriage in an opinion written by Chief Justice Ron George.

In case you were wondering: This means Kentuckians should immediately run and hide and/or start peeing their pants. The gays are taking over. They’ll slowly begin recruiting your children, infiltrating your schools, flooding the evil liberal media, and scaring people on the internets.

So get ready, “conservative” bloggers and Frank Simon disciples. Start spreading the fear.

Avenue Q: We Love You

Last evening we had the opportunity to see Avenue Q at The Louisville Palace and we’ve gotta say: GO SEE IT. Click here to buy tickets for as little as $25. There are five shows remaining through Sunday, April 27. If you enjoy our inappropriate crap here at Page One the least little bit, you’ll flip over this PNC Broadway presentation. It’s vulgar, inappropriate and we loved every minute of it. Very rarely do old ladies get uncomfortable– but they certainly did last night.

From the website:

AVENUE Q is Broadway’s smash-hit 2004 Tony Award® winner for BEST MUSICAL, BEST SCORE and BEST BOOK. A hilarious show full of heart and hummable tunes, AVENUE Q is about trying to make it in NYC with big dreams and a tiny bank account. Called “one of the funniest shows you’re ever likely to see” by Entertainment Weekly, AVENUE Q features a cast of people and puppets who tell the story in a smart, risque and downright entertaining way. The New Yorker calls it “SUBVERSIVE and UPROARIOUS!” Recommended for ages 13 and up.

I can’t say much about it without ruining things. But. Uh. Drop all plans to see it. Do it. Here’s a better summary: hilarity, adult Sesame Street, occasional foul language, Gary Coleman, puppet nudity, Mrs. Thistletwat, hilarity, hilarity, hilarity, schadenfreude. Go. See. It.

Special thanks to our theater-loving Republican friend for suggesting we see the show.

Michael Cassaro Supports The Gays

OH NOES! The world will end. A candidate for U.S. Senate in KENTUCKY favors the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Can you imagine? Someone running for statewide office who doesn’t hate the gays. Someone who actually believes everyone should be able to be honest about who they are if they’re willing to die for their country. (Don’t worry, we wouldn’t die for our country. Loved ones, probably. But not our country. Don’t hate.)

Read Cassaro’s release about the ho-mo-sexuals after the jump…

Read moreMichael Cassaro Supports The Gays

ALERT: Known Homosexual in Lexington Tonight

That’s right, kids. We’ll be in Lexington tonight fanning the flames of you-know-what.

Specifically, we’ll be the guests of the University of Kentucky’s College Democrats at some sort of fancy blogger forum. Starts at 7:00 in room 111 of the Student Center.

Also, we love that we weren’t mentioned at all in the Kentucky Kernel’s article today. Really makes us want to drive all the way to Lexington to take part in a forum discussing our profession? Nice job, Kernel! Way to entice the only full-time, most widely-read political blogger in the state to grace you with their presence on the Friday night before Thunder.

Somebody better have some good excuses prepared upon our arrival!

Warning: We cannot guarantee that we will not be lacking in couth this evening. The session, U.S. Senate race, KDP, governor and all-around state of our Commonwealth have us fired up. Wear your sense of humor hat and remember to make hand gestures if we fall asleep or forget to pay attention.

Television Station Falls for Our Sarcasm

Yesterday we told you in a sarcastic story about Chelsea Clinton stumping for her mother at the Pink Door Noodles and Tea Lounge in Louisville. The story drew a lot of attention on our sister site, The ‘Ville Voice, requiring us to explain that we are highly sarcastic folks under the influence of the scary homosexual agenda. (for the two people who weren’t aware)

That was that, right? Haha. Hardly.

WAVE3, the NBC affiliate in Louisville, took everything we said literally and allowed reporter Mark Schnyder to inaccurately report that Clinton stopped at a gay bar. Several times. He said it over and over.

Chelsea Clinton makes campaign stop for her mother at gay bar in Louisville
Updated: April 1, 2008 11:09 PM
By Mark Schnyder

LOUISVILLE (WAVE) — The Clinton campaign is using triple coverage to try to win the Indiana and Kentucky primaries next month. In the past seven days Kentuckiana has had visits from former President Bill Clinton, candidate Hillary Clinton and Tuesday night, their daughter Chelsea was in Louisville. WAVE 3’s Mark Schnyder has details on Tuesday night’s visit to a gay bar.
Despite this campaign stop being in a gay bar, only one person mentioned gay rights. Chelsea said if her mother’s elected president two things she’d do right away are extend equal benefits to gay federal employees and end the military’s don’t ask don’t tell policy.

We cannot stop laughing. This takes the cake. Proof that no one at WAVE3 has a sense of humor or an ability to use a search engine. For reference, the Courier-Journal reported the story in a much less sloppy manner.

How hilarious is this? If there are gay-hating Democrats in the 30 counties WAVE reaches, you can bet they won’t be voting for Hillary.

Chelsea Clinton at Big Gay Hangout Tonight

That’s right, kids. Chelsea Clinton is heading to The Pink Door – Noodles and Tea Lounge in Louisville (9 tonight, interrupting swing dancing) after visiting the University of Kentucky and Jefferson Community and Technical College. The Pink Door. Of all places. The big gay hangout in the Highlands. Isn’t that a little odd for a presidential campaign?

I mean, we’re influenced by a known homosexual here at Page One and all that. But really? A gay club? They have a weekly event called ThursGay, even. ThursGay.

No, it’s not an April Fool’s Day joke. It’s for real. Chelsea Clinton comes to Kentucky (of all places) and hangs with the swing dancing gays at a noodle joint. We can’t stop laughing and won’t even ask who came up with this idea.

What will Barack do when we comes to town? Hopefully he won’t go to a noodle joint.

Faux Rights Group Slanders David Williams

As Ben reports, the faux rights organization Kentucky Equality Federation has killed the last remaining ounce of credibility it allegedly had.

The organization is no longer making up names of board members and claiming a legal counsel who isn’t a member of the Kentucky Bar Association (because she allegedly doesn’t exist). Nor are they attempting to ruin the credibility of the long-standing Kentucky Fairness Alliance as the org has done in the past. Nope. Wait for it.

The “Federation” is now claiming that Senate President David Williams is gay.

Take a look:

Monday, March 31, 2008
Family in the Kentucky Senate?

A blogger claims there is homosexuality (or same-sex acts) in the top ranks of the Kentucky Senate. Click here to read.

This is ridiculous. Even if the man was a known homosexual, why on earth is a self-proclaimed gay rights organization (aka front group for cash) spreading such information? Without any evidence but nasty rhetoric, the group is, of course, attempting to assassinate Senator Williams’ character. He may be a first-rate hack, but this is low.

We call on the Senator to rebuke this horse crap of a nasty allegation immediately. And on the Republican Party of Kentucky to dig their nails into the Kentucky Equality Federation. Anyone who has contributed funds to this organization should request a refund and the Secretary of State should revoke their non-profit status.

Attacks like this should not be tolerated in today’s society.