Dear Internet: Sorry – Here's Your Update, Folks!

Sorry I drove everyone crazy and caused like, oh, 300 or 400 people to call/text/email me this morning simply because I accidentally forgot to schedule posts.

But trust me. There is a reaaaalllllly good reason. Something so exciting I couldn’t be bothered with things like, you know, responsibility.

Give me a few minutes to catch up and I’ll post updates and such.

Okay… here are some updates!

Randy Rand Paul Fun Times Teabagger loves pretend playing shoot-em-up with his borrowed guns. [Barefoot & Progressive]

Lt. Dan is advertising on the big orange librul devil. Oh noes. [More B&P]

Is this really a news story about the General Assembly? [AP]

I think it’d be pretty scary to watch the U.S. Senate stay up all night discussing the latest jobs bill. All those old codgers would just fall asleep. [The Hill]

Will the EPA take over part of Kentucky enforcement of the Clean Water Act? [C-J]

The child death bill passed the State House! [Bluegrass Politics]

That mean old Jim Gray is not happy about PeckerPointe in Lexington: “A tent for a few events a year is a glimpse at the lost potential for the center of Lexington. It is great if folks are using it, but it is also a reminder of failed leadership and missed opportunity.” [Press Release]

Slow News Day? Try Slow News Week

Republican Bill Johnson is a quitter, just like Sarah Palin. He dropped out of the U.S. Senate race today. [Page One]

Today the Transportation Cabinet sent out a press release about Highway staff removing campaign signs from the right-of-way and some folks wrote a story about it. Which means we don’t have to. There will likely be thousands of teabagger, Lt. Dan and other signs on every right-of-way in the state in a few weeks. [Bluegrass Politics]

Part-time Obamaracehater/teabagger Marcus Carey is concerned about a non-merit employee raising money on his personal time. [HAHAHA]

Dana B. Cox was named executive director the Kentucky Historical Society Foundation. She’ll start her new job on April 5th. Cox recently served as director of alumni relations at UK’s Gatton College of Business and Economics. [Press Release]

Happy Minority Babies Will Outnumber White Babies This Year Day! Where is Doug Hawkins to protect everyone?!?! OH GOD. [Wonkette]

Hahaha: “There once lived a man in the green hills of Glendale, or Glendale adjacent. He died of either gout or gang violence, but still had enough hobbit doubloons left over for a cremation.” [Ken Layne]

This kind of isn’t good. The Army Corps of Engineers abruptly suspended work on a portion of the Wolf Creek Dam project. [H-L]

Damon Thayer is playing the role of ignorant thug with voting rights legislation. But his constituency is none too happy with him. [Barefoot & Progressive]

Congressman on John Yarmuth had a lot to say on earmarks and job cuts today. [The ‘Ville Voice]

Oh Snap Monday! What Planet Are We On?

The actress with Down Syndrome from Family Guy totally burned Quitter Sarah Palin. [HuffPo]

Maybe some day Kentuckians won’t threaten the president with bigoted poetry. [Andy Wolfson]

Dear Paultards: Someone else is calling you Paultards. And your Janet Napolitano joke could have used a serious infusion of gay help. [Wonkette]

Rand Paul and Trey Grayson keep fighting in hopes that I’ll talk about them and make them as popular as State Representative Joni Jenkins in the Red Shoes. That is the only plausible explanation. [Bluegrass Politics]

Aww, more Mongiardo Supporters using cutesey homophobic slurs in comments about me. [More Bluegrass Politics]

Mitch McConnell says the stimulus spent $219,000 studying the sex lives of female college freshman. Does this mean he’s upset the funds weren’t spent on studying the sex lives of male college freshman? [St. Peteresburg Times]

Joe went to the Real America Fun Times Jesus Rally in Frankfort over the weekend. [Barefoot & Progressive]

Now McConnell says Republicans may support a slimmed down jobs bill. [HuffPo]

Really? “U.S. Senate update: KY Democrat Primary” – not Democratic. Democrat. [WHAS11]

If the ‘Teach Jesus In Schools’ bill is flawed, really, why vote for it Gerald Neal and Tim Shaughnessy? [C-J]

The Transportation Cabinet says it learned lessons from the Lawson-Nighbert trial. Maybe it could result in more ethical state government. [John Cheves]

More Mitch McConnell hypocrisy furthered by Fox News. [Media Matters]

A third of Kentuckians below Medicare age do not have health coverage. 33% of those aged 18 to 64. 23% in that age range were without coverage in early 2008. [C-J]

Frank Simon: Still Askeerd of the Queers

Frank Simon’s Freedom’s Heritage Forum is sending out its fancy candidate questionnaires once again.

So you’re aware of how crazy (thou doth protest too much, honeycackes) the man’s teabagging fearmongering goes, let’s take a look at some of the questions from the form his organization is distributing:

1. We are fed up with the politicians and the political system that:

A) …Took Prayer and the Ten Commandments out of our schools and caused the progressive wave of crime and immorality that has enguled our nation over the last 50 years and made American children last or next to last in scholastic achievement in international testing.

B) …Legalized the shedding of innocent blood, through abortion

C) …Banned Christian prayer in schools but allows Muslim prayer, while the Muslims have already taken over Europe and are about to take over America.

D) …Censored Creation Science and instead requires teaching the unproven theory of evolution. This is a fundamental issue of human respect and behavior.

E) …Redefined marriage and promotes sodomy in our schools.

F) …Created a huge national debt and the high taxes that are destroying our economy.


3. According to Cornell University Law School (…) and Wikipedia the United States Congress about 30 years ago passed a provision in the United States Code section 1988 that requires taxpayers to pay attorneys in civil rights cases. The ACLU has abused that law to make untold millions of dollars simply by suing the Boy Scouts, school children, military academies, cities and towns with the goal of punishing any who dare to exercise their first amendment right to religious freedom. Will you work to amend the US Code section 1988 so that fees are no longer awarded to the ACLU or any other plaintiff in Establishment Clause Cases and so that the free expression clause [free exercise of religion] has at least the same financial incentives as the current attacks on faith?

This is the man Rand Paul and David Adams are so comfortable having on board/befriending/working with/enjoying.

Oh! Like Joe said, Jonathan Meador had a blast when he called Frank Simon on the tellyphone.

And remember Todd Hollenbach? He’s friends with Simon (his father-in-law and Simon are the best of friends) and received his endorsement in 2007.

The Family Foundation Hits and Misses

Imagine that – the Family Foundation is holding a “Restore America Rally” in Frankfort. But get this? On Saturday the 20th at noon. Saturday. When there won’t be a legislator for miles and miles in any direction. Heh.

Brave Patriot gay-hater Kent Ostrander sent out a fancy email about it all:

We are entering a demanding 6-week period – the second half of the 2010 General Assembly.  May I invite you to be diligent with us in these next few weeks?  It is NOW when THE PEOPLE can govern by letting their voices be heard.  If we do not speak, a few politicians will govern in their way – a way designed for their benefit . . . not ours, not our children’s.

Please help us “lift” these final six weeks of the Session by elevating our concerns – join us next Saturday, Feb. 20 on the Capitol Steps at noon when there will be a one hour “Restore America Rally” that we believe will demonstrate to legislators, the media and all of the state that we as citizens are serious about godly and fiscally responsible legislation.  The more people who attend, the louder the megaphone!

Please consider this in your heart and see if you don’t agree:  Kentucky, given its rich heritage of faith, is actually called to lead this nation in many ways.  Therefore, let us not sit back.  Rather, let us step forward in faith and “see what the Lord will do.”

His email included this fancy church flyer thing:


Would be hilarious of the event got, you know, punk’d.

I love how these “family values” rallies always occur on Saturdays when those of the Jewish faith and heritage cannot attend.

Rand Paul Appeals to Greater Wingnuttia

On/around February 5, voters in Kentucky started receiving fancy letters from Republican U.S. Senate candidate Rand Paul.

Unremarkable, right? Yeah. Until you read the letter and find out he’s going balls-to-the-wall for the militia-paranoia crowd.

Get a load (pun intended) of a few excerpts:

How many politicians profess to support gun rights and then vote for things like the Brady bill?

How many politicians claim support for the Second Amendment and then vote against those same rights?

How many politicians come to your gun club meetings, but then disappear when it comes to a real, substantive agenda to keep and restore your rights?

Paul goes on to detail that he’s a gun owner and a member of Gun Owners of America.

Oh, what’s that? You’re alarmed that Paul wants to repeal the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act? The piece of legislation that requires background checks for gun purchasers? Well, I’ll be.

Some more:

How many supposedly pro-gun politicians supported the McCain-Feingold Act which makes it illegal for gun rights groups to buy advertising criticizing a federal legislator for voting for gun control?

Apparently, these fair-weather friends don’t believe the First Amendment applies to paid political speech.

Yup. He’s working to make Greater Wingnuttia believe campaign finance reform is all about TAKIN YER GUNS!

But you’re still not convinced Rand Paul loves working folks over into a paranoid froth?


How many supposed pro-gun politicians voted for the Patriot Act, which gives the government the right to search your home without a warrant, when you’re not home, leave listening devices, and use any and all information to prosecute you on any charge, regardless of their original reason for the search?

Yup. Scaring the dickens out of people with Big Brother.

Things he says he’d like to support if he gets to go to Washington:

  1. H.R. 1096, which includes provisions repealing the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act and the Federal Firearms License Reform Act of 1993, two invasive and unconstitutional bills.
  2. H.R. 1897, which would end the ban on carrying a firearm in the National Park System, restoring Americans’ ability to protect themselves in potentially hazardous situations.
  3. H.R. 3305, which would allow pilots and specially assigned law enforcement personnel to carry firearms in order to protect airline passengers, possibly preventing future 9/11-style attacks.
  4. H.R. 1146, which would end our membership in the United Nations, protecting us from their attempts to tax our guns or disarm us entirely.

Yup. Now the United Nations is trying to take your guns. FEAR!

He goes on to passive-aggressively attack Trey Grayson – or, I assume he does, as he has more than one opponent:

You can help me defeat my opponent, a career politician who will carry water for the Party but can’t be counted upon if the Party decides to go along with gun control

And he closes his fancy letter with a cutesy beg for money.

You’ll want to read it all for yourself:


And let us know what you think in the comments. That is, if the UN and Big Brother don’t get to you first.