Oh Hey It Is Thursday And We’re Kinda Awake

OH HEY GURL BEND OVERGood morning, ladies! We just discovered Strawberry Mint gum (Orbit) and request that all of our minions buy up hundreds of packs and send them to us! STAT!

In other news, thank goodness there were several attractive gentleman in the MSNBC liveshot from the RNC last night. Otherwise we would have fallen asleep while the corrupt HP executive rattled on (remember when she stole trade secrets or whatever?), when all the plastic ladies were on the screen and when Mittens Romney, America’s favorite wearer of magical Mormon underwear, complained about the gays, the liberals, the porn, the promiscuity and the whole world. Liberal devil sin satan liberal 666 liberal FEAR!!!

Then he went all fetus and rapture on the crowd and they all started having liberal-hating-gasms. And Al Gore has a private jet because he is the liberal jihad devil. Scary muslims allah terra sluts! USA USA USA USA!!! THE END.

Kentucky Republicans are still spinning out of control for Sarah Palin. Painfully embarrassing that anyone would try to explain her problems away. But we’ll roll with it. Cause it’s awesome to watch. [C-J]

HAHAHA! Peggy Noodles Noonan says it’s over. Check this fancy video of her in a rare moment of honesty where she uses adult language and complains about Sarah Palin. Priceless, ladies. Priceless. [Wonkette]

Read the rest after the jump…

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Tuesday Afternoon Fancy Pants Update Stuffs

We’re in all kinds of meetings because all the old dudes decided to accomplish everything on Tuesday afternoon. So enjoy this fancy stuff for a while. Back in a bit. Maybe.

Also, our laptop died. Someone give us a loan. Ugh.

VoteVets released two new ads about the war in Iraq. Meanwhile, no one in Kentucky has a clue that Mitch McConnell is directly responsible for a ton of the crap going down in the desert. Will they ever find out? Don’t hold your breath. [VoteVets.org]

Mark Hebert continues to say that Barack Obama has experienced no bounce post-convention. He cites one poll showing a bump and doesn’t bother to mention the, oh, seven billion other polls showing Obama with a 6-8 point lead. Come on, Mark! Stop with the Republican shilling. [Hebert’s Blog]

In case you didn’t know, the Republican Party of Kentucky now controls Brett Hall’s website. Just in case you weren’t aware that they were in control while Hall was still publishing the site. [KYPolitics.org]

Trey Grayson is spinning like woah to defend Sarah Palin and John McCain’s uneducated decision to select her as his running mate. Note to Trey: Stop it! Appearing on Francene to blabber about how great Sarah Palin is will eventually make you seem batshit crazy. The woman is allied with Ted Stevens and her credibility is worse than ours. Give it up, holmes, this ship has sailed and it’s time for Walnuts to pick a different running mate. [Everything Everywhere]

Sarah Palin vetting process? What vetting process? It’s all just crazy. And it’s detailed in beautiful glory in the New York Whore Times. Oh snap! [New York Times]

Check out these videos of Tyler Murphy refusing to stand at the Democratic National Convention for Barack Obama. Why? Because he’s a bitter Clinton delegate. It’s one thing to disrespect your party’s presidential nominee because you’re bitter. It’s another to waste a delegate space if you don’t plan to take your responsibility as a delegate seriously. [Ben Carter]

In other news, check this fancy video of Grampa John McCain cracking a joke about the Katrina disaster:




Chuck Ellinger to Beat Kathy Stein?

Sorry, there’s about zero chance a Republican will replace Ernesto Scorsone. Kathy Stein has this one locked up, kids.

There’s no way on earth a Republican can win in one of the most liberal State Senate districts in Kentucky. Especially a district that supported openly-gay and hugely liberal Scorsone.

No matter what Mark Hebert says, it’s not happening. Voters in Scorsone’s district aren’t willing to consider a Republican as a replacement.

In other news, it’s a slow news day and everyone in Kentucky is sleeping in or something.

Some Stories You May Have Missed This Week

BREAKING: The Kentucky Democratic Party Has a National Problem On Its Hands. KDP Chair Jennifer Moore and Executive Director Jeremy Horton are the target of a challenge at the DNC brought by 20 delegates. This isn’t something that will go away.

Drama Never Ends for Kentucky Democrats. Michael “Whitey” Adkins, Democratic candidate for the State House in eastern Kentucky’s 25th District, has quite the black past.

The Reality Disconnect in State Government. Or why Dick Brown probably helped sink Steve Beshear’s approval rating. Beshear’s former communications director reveals he has no concept of modern media.

Candidate Shoots, Misses, Gets Arrested. Repubican candidate for State Senate in Louisville’s 35th District was arrested for wanton endangerment, menacing and fourth degree assault after telling someone he would kill them and then firing a handgun at them.

Ken Herndon Files Suit Over Nasty Mail Piece. He now has subpoena power to investigate those responsible for one of the nastiest attacks in years. Things are about to get crazy.

RPK Chairman Releases Statement on Albers

Republican Party of Kentucky Chairman Steve Robertson just released a statement about State Senate candidate John Albers, whom we told you about yesterday. Albers is charged with wanton endangerment, menacing and fourth degree assault for threatening some dude’s life and then firing a gun at him.

Here’s Robertson’s statement:

“Although I have never met Mr. Albers, these charges seem to indicate that this is not the appropriate time for him to pursue public office on behalf of the Republican Party of Kentucky,” said Robertson. “It would seem to be appropriate for Mr. Albers to withdraw his candidacy in order to concentrate on what appears to be a serious issue in his personal life.”

Candidate Shoots, Misses, Gets Arrested

John Albers, a Republican candidate for State Senate in District 35, was arrested last night on charges of wanton endangerment (a felony), menacing and fourth degree assault. (This is where you yell, “OH SNAP!”)

Albers, 35, lives in Old Louisville at 1036 S. Sixth St. He is on the ballot to face incumbent Denise Harper Angel (D-35) and independent Scott Ritcher, who just filed for the seat Monday.

It’s hilarious. According to an arrest warrant, on Aug. 6 Albers approached a man named Ricky Lester at 6th and St. Catherine and yelled at him, accusing him of stealing something belonging to Albers. From the report: “Deft (Albers) then grabbed aft (Lester) by the front of his shirt and told aft that he wanted his stuff back or he would kill aft.”

After Lester ran off, Albers chased him in a van, pulled out a handgun and shot at the fleeing Lester.

Two days earlier, Albers reportedly approached Lester wanting to know where his “breaker” was. He then punched him in the eye, pulled and cocked a gun and was “telling aft that he was getting ready to kill aft.”

Local Republican Party Chairman Brad Cummings said Albers wasn’t getting any support from the party, as he’d attempted to reach him and was unable to get through.

Folks, we are not making this stuff up.