Oh Snap Monday! It’s Colder Than Denise H.A.

Hey, Marcus Green, still complaining about how biased and pay-for-play (total bunk) we are? Just because we point out how biased your rag is when it comes to 8664? Here’s a good example about how your employer, the Courier-Journal, is as biased as all get out. For those not in the know: Marcus has taken it upon himself to trash us 24/7 to everyone he comes in contact with. Guess the layoffs are getting to him. And on that same line, it’s hilarious how the Beshear Administration appears clueless that people have caught on to its 8664 shenanigans. [C-J & More C-J]

George W. Bush’s philosophy stoked the mortgage bonfire. All right for the reckoning. [NY TImes]

This is the kind of crap we read to entertain us all day long. Cats keep lost boy warm. I bet they were just trying to smother him. Go read it. [UPI]

What’s that? You mean $1.6 BILLION in bailout funds went directly to corrupt bank executives? $1.6 billion! In the form of salaries, bonuses and other perks like cash, stock options, jet usage, chauffuers, home security, country club memberships and professional money management. The total amount given to nearly 600 execs? It’d cover bailout costs for many of the 116 banks that have accepted the funds. It’s enough to make you hope these people get screwed over by Madoff. [NY Times]

Why does the U.S. and A. hate the rest of the world? Why would we be the only U.N. member nation to vote against the right to food? This person is spot-on. Calling the “right to food” a human right in a diplomatic resolution costs nothing and requires no further action. But leave it to these Bush whackjobs to continue starving the world to death. It’s pretty awesome. [Daily Puke]

Americans were promised change, not a shill for Monsanto. [Christian Science Monitor]

Newsflash: Don’t try to screw over Ann Oldfather. She will win. She doesn’t just jump on things to jump on them. Also, if you’re getting a divorce, use her. Because she’s the most powerful woman on earth. Oldfather says Maggie Keane, a candidate for vice president of the Kentucky Bar Association, denied having documents that she actually received– via a FedEx shipment. There’s no reason that Ann Oldfather (of all people! she doesn’t pull ridiculous crap, at all, ever) would push an ethics complaint unless there was serious, legitimate reason to push it. [C-J]

Gov. Beshear & Julianne Moore Visit Whitley Co

Governor Steve Beshear, actress Julianne Moore and Advocate Mark Shriver participated in a Save the Children event at Whitley Central Primary School. Save the Children’s programs for rural communities provide literacy, physical activity, nutrition and early childhood support to children in need.

From a press release:

“It is essential that we provide children in our state with the vital skills to become successful professionals,” said Gov. Beshear. “One of my top priorities for the commonwealth has been quality education. It is critical for our state to continue programs such as Save the Children to be competitive in the global market.”

Moore, a supporter of this program, was inspired by her recent visit to Save the Children’s early childhood development, literacy and fitness programs in Tennessee. She created the Save the Children Valentine’s Day Campaign, which aims to give families a way to make a difference for children in need in the U.S.

“We’re a country where every child should have an equal opportunity yet one in six children live in poverty,” said Moore. “The only way to give these children opportunity is through education and Save the Children is helping us reach that goal. The phenomenal 90 percent success rate at the Whitley program sets a powerful example for our leaders in Washington, D.C.”

Save The Children Federation, Inc. received an Appalachian Regional Commission grant for $500,000 to continue a literacy program in 14 southeastern Kentucky schools. The federal grant was matched by the Commonwealth in the amount of $500,000.

Tuesday Update Dept Of Random Crap

Meanwhile, at the retirement reception for Senator Larry Craig. [Pundit Kitchen]

Seriously. Holy crap. Are people starving or what? [WJLA]

So when we are gonna start talking about the divorce rate in this country? [WaPo]

More bull from these folks who have no idea what it’s like on the ground in Kentucky. Now it’s “corrupt, wealthy Lunsford.” [Keep Dreaming]

What would you do if your husband was the focus of one of the largest political investigations in Kentucky history and you were being sued for allegedly defrauding your publishing company? Why, you’d go on Don’t Forget The Lyrics, of course. [Monsters & Critics]

Haha. Top ten Sarah Palin excuses for that hilarious turkey slaughter interview. [David Letterman]

The Courier-Journal is apparently running this story about Robert Felner’s trial being delayed every day, forever. [C-J]

The infamous Versailles Road castle is now open as an inn. For real. Check out the photos. [H-L]

Ugh. What A Boring & Slow News Day

Is anything at all happening? Anything? Is anyone awake or pretending to do work? What is going on? We can’t even find non-boring articles to read about how broke we are as a country. There are only like four press releases to look at today– and we read all of them, in their entirety.

Did you know we are: faggots, spin machinists, mean, attackers, Republicans, Democrats, satanists, poor, broke, stupid, dumb, evil, paid for by Trey Grayson, Bruce Lunsford, Mitch McConnell, John Yarmuth, Democratic House Caucus and Joni Jenkins? Yeah.

In other news, someone should buy us this so we can make one of these fetus jump drives.

Aww. Republicans in Georgia jacked up an opportunity to take advantage of absentee voting. Imagine that. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Actually, Joe, you should be a bit more honest about what you’re up to. You shouldn’t take direction from any particular political party. You should remain objective. Stick to reporting instead of offering your opinion, which has been tainted by a particular political party. We know– they called us, too, and tried to spin it. They were polite and well-reasoned, but it was still spin. We also hear you couldn’t even research the KRS on your own. Now you can email us to complain about what we’re saying about you instead of what truthful things we’ve said about Nancy Rodriguez. [C-J]

Today and tomorrow Attorney General Jack Conway, Kentucky Child Now and the Kentucky Department of Education are hosting an i-Jame Internet Safety Conference for parents, teachers and educators in Lexington. Lots of discussion about safety, perverts on MySpace, cyberbullying, onling gaming and how not to to stupid things on the internets. Good move. [Press Release]

For real. We’re all gonna die of the poverty and the starvation. The Fed is offering to dole out $7.4 trillion (with a T) to save failed companies that are suffering from failed leadership and all-out corruption. And the mouth breathers are still trying to blame Barry for turning us into a socialist country. Nice. [Bloomberg]

What Democratic brand? Really, what brand? We don’t have a brand in Kentucky anymore. [C-J]

Join the Family Adventure Quest! State Parks are offering tons of gift cards and this year it’ll be fun with a presidential/Lincoln flair. [Kentucky State Parks]

Yarmuth Calls on House to Assist Poor Kentuckians

Rep. John Yarmuth (D-10 Points Ahead) pressured the United States Congress to fully fund the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP). The program would provide assistance to more than 192,000 poor Kentuckians who need aid.

Check it out:

Or read the transcript after the jump…

Read moreYarmuth Calls on House to Assist Poor Kentuckians

Two Quick Things This Afternoon

OH NOES! You’re Gonna Die of the Poverty. Because even Wachovia is about to go belly-up or whatever. [Washington Post]

And… we hear that Commonwealth Attorney Dave Stengel in Louisville will be “looking into” the hate mail piece against Ken Herndon. More Here and Here and Here and Here and Here.

It’s not a formal investigation or manhunt, so to speak, but Stengel plans to have his staff do some research.

We’ll bring you more info as soon as we have it.

Tuesday Update Dept of Buy Us a MacBook Pro, 15″, Glossy, 4gigs of RAM OR ELSE!!!

David Boswell and Brett Guthrie are in a virtual dead heat according to the latest SurveyUSA polling data. Boswell leads Guthrie 47-44 with a 4.3% margin of error. Only 9% of likely voters say they’re undecided. The two are tied among males but females prefer Boswell, the Democrat, 48-42. [Mark Hebert]

A British invasion? The Jakals (from southern England) will be performing tonight in Louisville at the Rudyard Kipling at 8:00 P.M. Their first appearance was in our fancy pants hometown in middle of nowhere West Liberty, deep in the hills of eastern Kentucky. Turns out they’re actually using a company in West Liberty (!!) to distribute their CD here in the U.S. and A. [Jakals, Rudyard Kipling]

There’s still no word on whether or not Mitch McConnell plans to hire anyone from Kentucky to work on his campaign. If you missed it, his treasurer lives in Indiana, none of the contacts on his campaign’s Statement of Organization are in Kentucky and only one of the three banks his campaign uses is located in the Bluegrass State. [Page One]

Do you have AB positive or AB negative blood? Get your ass to the Chestnut Street Red Cross in Louisville ASAP. There is an emergency need for that particular type of plasma. Please specify that your donation is for C. Thomas Bennett at Baptist East. [Just Do It]

Editors at Bloomberg noted on Friday that U.S. stock declines were the worst since June… of 1930! The Great Depression! Yeah, little economic mix-up, my formerly fat ass! Basically, the world is effed and we’re all gonna die of the poverty. [Bloomberg]

Thanks to rising gas prices, the Kentucky State Police is cutting back on patrols. So this basically means you’re less safe as a direct result of the economy. But the free market will fix that, right? I can’t remember which right-wing spin is appropriate in this instance. And this isn’t just happening with the KSP. It’s across the board. [C-J]