Spending the Day at Churchill Downs

Being the fancy high society/elitist homosexual types that we are, we spent Sunday afternoon at Churchill Downs. Yes, we drank all kinds of free devil water as we wagered millions and millions of dollars on some horsies. We ate all kinds of pro-gambling food. And we won all kinds of money (we left with an additional *cough* $12 *cough*).

Our Jockey Club Suite may not have been, you know, right on the finish line… but it was close. As were the restrooms and the funny old ladies with big hair working the betting windows. (We couldn’t figure out that fancy betting computer in the suite after a bunch of booze.) And no, Bruce didn’t call to drop any tips our way. Otherwise we wouldn’t be writing this today.

We snapped a few cellphone pics for you to check out/use for developing envy:

And take a peek at the mega bets we made (see? as high as $6! though, as a group, we bet $48 on one ticket and failed miserably.):

So. You know you wanna. If you can’t make it during the Kentucky Derby, plan on making a trip to Louisville to visit Churchill Downs sometime during the spring meet. We’d be happy to join you.

Reminder: Enter Our Contest to Win

Just a reminder to enter our fancy First Lady Coloring & Caption Contest. It’s your chance to make a few hilarious political jokes while winning tickets to two uniquely Kentuckian tourist traps in the western part of our beautiful Commonwealth.

Color & caption pictures of Barbara Pierce Bush, whom we picked because she is so mean and wrote that book about her dog Millie. And Laura Welch Bush, whom we selected because she’s way more intelligent than her husband and is often spotted in public with Visible Panty Line (VPL). You’ll be entered to win tickets to Dinosaur World or the underground boat tour at Lost River Cave & Valley.

Entries accepted until April 18th.

Fischer Campaign Attacks Horse Industry Again

For the second time in a day Greg Fischer’s campaign for U.S. Senate has attempted to harm Kentucky’s Thoroughbred Horse industry. In a veiled and passive attack against Democratic primary candidate Bruce Lunsford, the campaign is ignoring reality and pushing the mainstream media to paint Lunsford as a traitor for sending a surrogate to the Ruby Laffoon Democratic Dinner. See our earlier story from today for background information and facts about the Thoroughbred industry.

More about Fischer’s strange attack that could potentially harm Kentucky’s economy after the jump…

Read moreFischer Campaign Attacks Horse Industry Again

Fischer Passively Attacks Lunsford. Again.

Being passive, as you well know, gets you no where in politics. But that’s Greg Fischer’s campaign tactic. Where has it gotten him? To 5% name I.D. with very little money in the bank. So it only makes sense that his campaign would continue being passive, right?

The campaign sent out a last-minute fundraising email blast this morning that leaves us scratching our heads. Not only does the campaign contradict what it’s said in previous emails about having already met their fundraising goal (now they’re saying they’re *this* close) but they’re literally attacking Kentucky’s signature industry, Thoroughbred Horse Racing.

See for yourself:

This weekend while Greg’s primary opponent was reportedly hanging out in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, Greg was meeting with Kentucky Democrats at the Ruby Lafoon Democratic Dinner in Madisonville.

With so much recent history. So much controversy. So much juicy and well-documented Lunsford disdain on the internet. So many negative videos. What does the Fischer campaign do? They ignore it all and passively attack Bruce Lunsford who went to Dubai for a major horse race on a trip that’s been planned for months and months with dozens of other prominent Kentuckians. Smooth move.

Hello, common sense. How many times do we have to tell you that Google is your friend? If you’re going to attack, then attack. Stop with the amateur hour behavior. Act credible before you alienate the support base you claim to have.

We wish this race would get exciting. But attacking a prominent ambassador for horse racing– an industry that generates anywhere from 80,000 to 100,000 jobs, an industry in which Lunsford spends millions of his own dollars– is a total waste of effort.

Update: Here’s some good information about the impact Kentucky’s equine industry has on the state. Here’s a taste of the financial impact:

  • $4 billion Estimated economic impact of Kentucky’s horse economy
  • $8.8 billion Economic impact of the state’s tourism industry
  • 14,600 Tourism-related jobs attributed to the equine industry
  • $240 million Economic impact of the Kentucky Horse Park
  • $217 million Economic impact of the Kentucky Derby
  • $650 million Value of horses sold at auction in Kentucky in 2003
  • $127 million Estimated Kentucky horse industry exports

ALERT: Everyone loves a contest & Free Stuff

Especially when there are tickets for two to Dinosaur World and an underground boat tour of historic Lost River Cave & Valley involved. So, if you’re interested in some cheesy western Kentucky tourism fun, here’s your chance.

We’re hosting a cheesy and juvenile First Lady Coloring & Caption Contest. We’ve picked images of our favorite first ladies and it’s up to you to impress us. Color your favorite (or both, if you want to win both sets of tickets) and come up with some clever, humorous captions. Scan & email them to us and you’ll be entered to win tickets.

Don’t laugh at our First Lady selections. They’re awesome. We picked Barbara Pierce Bush because she is so mean and wrote that book about her dog Millie. And Laura Welch Bush because she’s way more intelligent than her husband and is often spotted in public with Visible Panty Line (VPL).

We want to see some amazing artwork, folks. Get busy! Photoshopped entries are welcome.

To Recap:

  • Color & Caption Barbara and/or Laura
  • Win 2 tickets to Dinosaur World in Cave City, Kentucky or 2 tickets to Lost River Cave & Valley’s underground boat tour in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Both neat little tourist traps that are perfect for a family outing or an interesting day with your sweetie/sugar daddy.
  • Email your masterpieces to Jake at the address on our contact form.
  • Entries accepted through Friday, April 18th. Winners will be selected the following weekend and announced on Monday, April 21st.

All joking aside, we love Kentucky and want you to see it all. This is our opportunity to give a small bit back to our readers… with a little bit of quirk, of course.

Stuff We Love & Hate on Slow News Days

This cracks us up. Grandpa & Cougar McCain on the hunt.

Need a hot/rich/young husband? How bout this dude? HH– you on this?

Don’t you love it when you go to Kashmir and the server/manager/whatever lies to you when they make a weird mistake and put effing green peppers in your channa masala? Where in “Whole chick peas cooked with onions, tomatoes & spices.” are the words “disgusting bell peppers” ? Hello, we have a food & dining publication. We were gonna say nice things about you. And you only gave us like four pakoras. We’re former fatties– get with the program. But we’ll be back to pig out every five minutes.

Ugh. Jerry Abramson was featured as the “supermayor” or whatever in the effing Economist. Really, wtf? We so don’t get why everyone loves him.

Rick got all fired up and called out some hack named Sandy for sending some nasty emails like 24/7. Did you know that Muslims are evil Jesus-haters and Barack Osama is the devil? If not, get in touch with Sandy.

We hate teaching old people how to use Photoshop. Ugh. Everyone grit your teeth in frustration with us.

Apparently there are all kinds of investment opportunities in eastern Kentucky. This, this, this.

Our very own Intrepid Reporter went to the Creation Museum yesterday. They spotted this awesome Christmas Dinosaur:

Beshear Nixes State Park $$ for Horse Park Stadium

While we understand Steve Beshear’s move to fund the $30 million stadium at the Kentucky Horse Park in preparation for the World Equestrian Games in 2010, it’s still disappointing. So many wonderful state parks will miss out on much needed improvements that have been in the works for years. The state parks impacted by his move may not be as high-profile as the horse park but Governor Beshear should work to obtain funding for the projects he killed. They’re just as important to our image.

Among the park projects canceled by Beshear:

  • Lake Cumberland, conference center, $5.83 million
  • Dale Hollow Lake, lodge room addition, $5.5 million
  • Dale Hollow Lake, cottage development, $5.08 million
  • Dale Hollow Lake, Dale Hollow Pool, $4.68 million
  • Greenbo Lake, general improvements, $1.43 million
  • E.P. “Tom” Sawyer, general improvements, $1.25 million
  • Marina upgrades at various parks, $1.25 million
  • Kenlake, Cherokee Park, $1.14 million
  • My Old Kentucky Home, general improvements, $1.1 million
  • Land acquisition at various parks, $916,000
  • J.J. Audubon, museum security system, $250,000
  • Jenny Wiley, general improvements, $130,000
  • AAA upgrades at resort parks, $32,779