How is Muslin Witch Lady Michelle Obama taking the Jesus out of Easter now? SHE IS RUINING EASTER. HIDE YOUR KIDS. [Wonkette]

Don’t act like you’re shocked to hear the 99.99% fat, white Republican Party feels that there’s been too much media attention on the Trayvon Martin tragedy. [Politico]

Things aren’t so rosy on the jobs front in Eastern Kentucky. Specifically in Pike County, where 130 jobs at a single company were just cut. [H-L]

Of course it’s Mitch McConnell appointing a man who attacks U.S. Muslims to the U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom. [WaPo]

Basically, Steve Beshear is going to appoint Irv Maze to an open Court of Appeals spot. [C-J/AKN]

Come on, Morehead, can we quit it with embarrassing people who do things like have stand-offs with police? [WLEX18]

The rest of the civilized world just sort of rolls its eyes at the United States for not having a form of universal health care. [The Economist]

Does anyone in Kentucky even have Current TV? We thought it was something that Al Gore was playing pat-a-cake with in San Francisco or whatever. [NPR]

Internet freedom starts at home and the United States needs to practice what it preaches online. [Public Policy]

Mittens Romney says President Barack Obama will end Medicare. Maybe we should all start wearing adult diapers until the November election. Pee alerts galore. [HuffPo]

On Saturday, the Obama Campaign will open its field office in Louisville. Which, well, doesn’t really mean anything, unfortunately. [Press Release]

The owner of the West Virginia mine where 29 men died in an explosion two years ago on Thursday says it will begin to permanently seal the mine soon and finish the job by summer. [WKYT]

Lexington residents are apparently concerned that violent sports-related celebrations will hurt that city’s image. [FOX41]

This is why Lexington will suck for all eternity. [Barefoot & Progressive]

Go select Heather Ryan for the Progressive Patriots Fund. [Go do it!]

The Bigfoot press conference is coming at 3:00 Eastern. It’s probably going to turn out to be some drunk redneck they put in a monkey suit and shot. [Inquisitr, Searching for Bigfoot]

Friend of Frank Simon and right-wing opponent of public education, Jim Waters, continues to preach against prevailing and fair wages. Remember when this site and LEO both dropped his column? Yeah, we can’t believe anyone bothers to publish him anymore. [Times Tribune]

The Kentucky Democratic Party is still hemmoraging and/or threatening people. While trying to figure out who our sources are. [Page One]

Former Jefferson Circuit Court Judge Michael O’Connell will replace Irv Maze. [C-J]

Aww, poor Dubya and his inability to understand geography. [Check It]

What is it with folks who try to spin things and blame Jerry Lundergan for what Jennifer Moore and her KDP staff are responsible for and guilty of? You can’t handle things quietly when Jennifer Moore, Jeremy Horton and others IGNORE their official responsibility and break the rules. You have to eventually get loud about things or nothing gets done. [PolWatchers Commenter]

In other news, we hear that Larry Clark is trying to cut deals with Republicans so he can stay in power. Not a smooth move. [Various Reports]

Did you know Bruce Lunsford is a Democratic Senate candidate from Tennessee? Google is apparently not used– ever– at Huffington Post. [HuffPo]

Jefferson County Attorney Irv Maze was appointed to a district court judgeship by Steve Beshear. Now Louisville’s mayor gets to appoint a new county attorney to serve out Maze’s term. [The 'Ville Voice]

Kentucky has pledged $5.5 million in federal funds to restart construction on the Kentucky Center for African-American Heritage. It’s been sitting in waiting since 2006 when funding dried up. [Business First]

Louisville GOP Chair Brad Cummings chimed in on Jerry Abramson’s role in Irv Maze’s appointment: “Mayor Abramson could have pushed for this appointment to be made so that the people could have their say,” said Cummings. “But Jerry would rather add the County Attorney’s office to his list of Metro Government puppets. The bottom line is that when it comes to the democratic process, Mayor Abramson is anti-choice.” [Press Release]

We’re not sure what Marc Carey is trying to accomplish with his latest post, but it reeks of racism and we couldn’t be more offended. Just go look at it for yourself and try not to vomit. We have respect for Marc, but let’s get effing real. This is ridiculous. Joe Sonka is right to call this race baiting. [Bluegrass Bulletin, Barefoot & Progressive]

What’s this? what? Oh, yeah, more proof that Trey Grayson was on this whole transparency kick way before the governor’s office. Beshear’s folks are claiming they contacted Grayson’s office on May 15. But. Uh. Grayson’s folks were working on this several weeks earlier. Imagine that. [KY Progress]

Ralph Long has an interesting take on the whole transparency shenanigans. He wonders what government procurement cards (credit cards) are used for these days. And then Ralph wonders why Finance Cabinet Secretary Jonathan Miller doesn’t make a ton of documents available to the public. Go read all about it. [Ralph Long 1, 2]

Looks like Mitch McConnell is not only ticking Democrats off, but fellow Republicans. Apparently, Senate Republicans think their leadership made a tactical mistake by needlessly complicating the debate on global warming with an unrelated fight over judicial nominations. [Matt Gunterman]

Lookit. Irv Maze is finally retiring as Jefferson County Attorney to take a seat on the bench. The governor is expected to appoint the Mayor’s favorite as a replacement in the coming weeks and we hear Lt. Col. Andrew Horne may be in the mix. Though, Tina Heavrin is the widely expected pick to replace Irv. [The 'Ville Voice]

Mitch McConnell and his crew still think Bruce Lunsford has to answer to him on matters of various import. Reality is, though, that Lunsford only has to answer to the voters. Just as McConnell will have to do for his past 24 years of obstruction, pork and all-around shenanigans that are slowly but surely coming to light. [Team Mitch]

Folks at our table included: John Y. Brown III, Bruce Lunsford, Andrew Horne, Stephanie Horne, Pat & Alan Roles, Mike & Kelly Bailey, Tori Strange. How much fun is that? Half the room was ready to swallow their tongue when they learned of the scandalous seating arrangement. Dirty Blogger, JYBIII, Bruce, Andrew. All at the same table. Whaaaat. Yeah, how bout them apples? Greg Fischer walked by dozens of times to stare.

The rest of the debauchery and dozens of photos after the jump…

Metro Councilwoman Tina Ward-Pugh – we love her and have a secret crush on her. Got all giggly like a school girl around her. Literally star-struck. Guess there’s a first time for everything. We don’t even get weak-kneed over Bill Clinton so it’s funny to be around Tina. Now all she needs to do is fix that damn train whistle that blows 33 times each and every day.

Heather French Henry snubbed her nose at me, Steve was nice, chatted for a while. Every few minutes (when I wasn’t looking) Heather would stare at me wondering how I have gotten so skinny and hot. Made me feel a like I was in a pageant when I’d catch her making eye contact.

Jennifer Moore called me a liar. Like everyone heard it. Apparently talking about the State Board of Elections nominations process wasn’t kosher with her. She says she was always pushing for five nominees to hand over to the governor but several State Central Executive Committee members told me otherwise. It’s no big deal, really, just found it funny that she picked that to get upset over and none of the 500 other things we’ve published about the senate race. And in Jennifer’s defense, Virginia Woodward did send letters to the two major state parties requesting only three names.

Tried to play nice with Kim Greenwell but she was all, “Uh, we do NOT have anything to talk about. Get away.” What a frumpy bitch. She was nasty and then low and behold I got to sit RIGHT ACROSS from her and stare the entire night. She still doesn’t enjoy that some people tell the truth about her man Steve. (This is what happens when you attempt to assassinate our character publicly– we write about your nasty behavior.)

Dale Emmons lost an entire person (he says 18 pounds, I say 50).

Crit Luallen was effing radiant. For real. First time I’ve paid attention to her eyes. Made me just want to hug her. Plus her voice makes me all warm inside. I know, right? Weeeeird. I’m saying nice things about Crit. Now that she’s not running for fifteen different offices 24/7 she’s become cool.

Tony Lindauer sucked – he sang twice and it was awful. Like, for real, Tony, STOP SCREAMING INTO MICROPHONES! the hearing aid I’ll have in 50 years was squeaking from all the interference. (get it? so loud and awful he screwed up my FUTURE hearing aid. I know, I’m awesomely funny and skinny.) Read all about Tony here.

We kept wondering when Doug Hawkins was going to show up until we remembered the event was for Democrats. Nice. So it was up to us to protect all of our vulnerable white women from the Mexicans.

NO ONE can say DemocratIC Party. Here’s the list of offenders: Jennifer Moore, Dennis Horlander, Daniel Mongiardo (he’s lost his accent), Jim King, Joni Jenkins, Irv Maze (I still can’t believe he’s not borne of the Jewish blood). Pleeeeeease Dear Lord Baby Jesus in the Golden Diaper let these people learn to say DemocratIC. Please.

Jerry Abramson un-popped the collar on my amazing coat. WTF. I wish I had worn my Jerry-as-Elvis t-shirt.

Everyone gave me free drink tickets! The Tanqueray & tonics with lots of lime were pretty stiff for a change. Now I’m a fan of having functions in the south end because they apparently know how to make a drink or two. The gin made it easy to tolerate all of the haaaateful bitches.

The food? Vomit. Seriously. Vom vom vom. See for yourself: vegetarian option (HAHAHA, for real. shredded carrots that weren’t even cooked? What?) and the dead animal option with some runny stuff on it.

On the plus: everyone and their mother did the right thing by telling me how dangerously and sickeningly skinny I have become (sweet). Some even noticed the awesome tie.

Russ Salsman was MIA. RUSS! Come on. You never miss these things.

Dan Mongiardo said Louisville would get to keep more of its tax dollars. Everyone creamed their pants. We all turned into momentary Republicans and started to cry at the thought of not having the worst streets on the planet. OMG. What a dream. Dan also should be the governor right now, not Steve Beshear. Just saying. Danny boy and his new eyebrows have been given the short end of the stick and he needs to be more prominently featured in this administration. he’s the only asset Beshear has. Allison Patrick is also an asset. She needs to ditch televised car sales and use her talents. We’ve been too hard on her, probably.

The Governor’s father-in-law (I think) is ill in the Carolinas and that kept him from attending. Our thoughts are with the family.

Apparently I was awful/mean/nasty/evil to Jonathan Hurst? Hello? Thicker skins need to be grown, ladies. I like Jonathan. We’re birds of a feather (well, only in one way), obviously. Get a grip.

John Yarmuth gave a great speech about driving a stake through Anne Northup once and for all. The man grew a spine! The entire room was gasping for air because they were all shocked by the huge, giant, manly balls our congresscritter grew. Have to hand it to him, it was pretty fiery language. We were just stoked to hear some dramatic language.

Todd Hollenbach was cordial chatted with me several times. He didn’t say whether or not he’s still friends with Frank Simon.

Ken Herndon, well-known Jefferson County Judge-Executive and the next big thing to hit Louisville’s Metro Council, totally worked the crowd over. He’ll win his race over incumbent George Unseld. It’s time for a fresh face.

Vicki Aubrey Welch, whom we put on a pedestal with Tina Ward-Pugh, was also there. We love her.

Learned from a woman who really needs to chill out (or get a hot, young boyfriend STAT) that I’m terrible and mean and drive people out of the Democratic Party because I hurt feelings. I loved hearing that.

Jim Cauley either didn’t recognize us and looked over us or recognized us and hauled ass to get away.

And that was that, I think. Tried to adapt all the notes taken on our geek phone during the event. All in all a fun night.

Random other photos:

Everybody knows that Jerry Abramson is far and away the most popular public official in Jefferson County. But quick — who’s number two?

You’d get few arguments against Jefferson County Attorney Irv Maze, who has a significant political organization around here and a world of appealing choices ahead of him.

Maze got a taste of statewide campaigning during the 2007 primary for Governor as Jonathan Miller’s running mate, and proved he had the pulling power to attract a significant chunk of votes in Jefferson County. He was elected to his third term as Jefferson County Attorney in 2006, so the easy thing for him to do would be to stay put.

But word is that Maze has higher ambitions… and that could land him a 2008 race for the Kentucky Supreme Court seat now occupied by recently appointed justice Lisabeth Hughes Abramson. The winner of that special election in the 4th District won’t face re-election again until 2014. Most insiders believe Maze could win that campaign. He might also opt for a seat on the Kentucky Court of Appeals, another winnable race, for the seat vacated by Abramson when she was appointed to the Supreme Court after the death of William McAnulty.

The other spot Maze might covet is some undetermined role in the future administration of Steve Beshear, provided Beshear is elected governor in November — which is becoming a more likely outcome every day. Maze, who helped Beshear win the primary when he and Miller dropped out and endorsed Beshear, could likely command a top Cabinet post with Beshear.

So what will Irv do? We won’t find out until early ‘08.