Even Louisville Gets You-Know-What By The KRS

Can Louisville Metro Government continue funding the Kentucky Retirement Systems mess? Of course not. But it absolutely will. [The ‘Ville Voice]

This woman has been to the Newport Aquarium, right? Because it’s definitely not in the top nine places to visit in Kentucky. Definitely not one of the best aquariums in the country. What on earth? [H-L]

Legislators seek support by doling out little honors and resolutions have absolutely piled up. But this isn’t news. It’s not even remotely the most wasteful thing Frankfort does. [C-J/AKN]

The U.S. military is expanding its secret intelligence operations across Africa, establishing a network of small air bases to spy on terrorist hideouts from the fringes of the Sahara to jungle terrain along the equator, according to documents and people involved in the project. [WaPo]

You can’t even go to Lexington these days without getting robbed and violently beaten. [WKYT]

Don’t tell your meemaw! Undocumented Mexican youths who came to the United States as children reacted with joy to an Obama administration rule change on Friday that could spare them deportation, although opponents slammed it as amnesty and ridiculous. [Reuters]

The economy has so much going for it: low inflation, low interest rates, affordable homes, falling gasoline prices and 27 straight months of job growth. Good times, no? No. Here are three frightening phrases you should understand. [NPR]

Of course motorcycle helmet laws reduce deaths. But this is the Commonwealth of Kentucky where dumb crap is, you know, welcomed. Darwinism will always win out, though. [WLEX18]

President Obama acknowledged the frustrations in the gay community at the pace of progress — saying that gay activists had every right to push for change forcefully. [Politico]

Here’s one of the many reasons Adam Edelen will never get to the bottom of the Kentucky Retirement Systems disaster(s). [Page One]

The sad thing? These health department cuts are going to hit the hardest in rural parts of Kentucky where there is no other basic care available. [H-L]

It is hard to be Mittens Romney trying to decide what he wants people to think he believes about immigration. He has to strike just the right note: not alienating Latino voters while being totally and constantly bug-eyed, Jan Brewer-style racist for the GOP base. [Wonkette]

Hal Rogers Pretends To Be Unaware of Protestors

He can keep wishing in one hand… Republican Senate President David Williams said his beef with Democratic Gov. Steve Beshear isn’t personal. Instead, he said he’s disappointed that the governor hasn’t done more while in office. [Ryan Alessi]

So this priest sexual abuse thing is not exactly new. One of Kentucky’s longest-serving state lawmakers and strongest advocates for children has publicly acknowledged that he was sexually abused by a Catholic priest while in junior high school. [H-L]

President Barack Obama’s streak of getting pounded in major fossil fuel states’ Democratic primaries may be over. [Politico]

A freshman Democratic senator thinks he may have found a way to encourage investment in wind, solar and biofuel projects without sapping too many taxpayer dollars or injecting new venom into a bitter partisan battle over energy incentives. [Reuters]

Military suicides have surged – nearly one per day this year. That’s 50% more suicides than Afghanistan combat fatalities, the fastest pace in a decade of war. [HuffPo]

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!1! Indiana health officials say the West Nile virus has been confirmed among mosquitoes in the state weeks earlier than last year. [WFPL]

You can’t even go to Lowe’s in Pikeville these days without almost getting shot. [WKYT]

LG&E and KU want to jack your gas and electricity rates up again. Meanwhile, the company continues to play pat-a-cake with a coal ash/waste pond that is causing nothing but nightmares. [C-J/AKN]

The Department of Defense has announced four units, including two from Fort Campbell, that will deploy to Afghanistan this year. [H-L]

One of the many reasons Kentucky is screwed: House Republicans have included a provision in a transportation bill that prohibits EPA regulation of coal ash. Kentucky Congressman Ed Whitfield says that’s an important provision. [WEKU]

You can’t even sit at home in Lexington these days without having armed men break into your house. [WLEX18]

Country club gossip bulletin the New York Times has finally done the important journalistic work of sending a reporter down to southern California to lurk around the driveway of Mitt Romney’s beachfront La Jolla mansion and quiz the neighbors for dirt on all of his annoying domestic habits. [Wonkette]

Obviously, abortion is the number one problem facing the United States of America. The banks are fine, economy is fine, jobs situation is perfect. [HuffPo]

Everything Is Always Puppies And Rainbows Here

How long will it take mouth-breathers to freak out over this story about an illegal immigrant charged with prostituting underage girls in Kentucky? [H-L]

Congress is considering legislation allowing the government to search through Internet traffic for early warnings of cyberattacks. The bills are controversial — worries about government surveillance have led to protests online. [NPR]

Of course this teabagger legislator is a race-baiting twit. You already know they do things like push for allowing discrimination on the basis of race. [HuffPo]

Humbler horizons? America’s economy is growing at an unimpressive rate. It may not be able to go much faster. [The Economist]

You apparently can’t even go swimming in your own pool in Lexington without finding someone who has drowned or been suicided. [WKYT]

The Kentucky Kingdom-Koch Family-Ed Hart mess is turning into a nice scandal for Steve Beshear, Greg Fischer, Larry Hayes and crew. It’s going to cost Kentucky taxpayers millions upon millions of dollars. [The ‘Ville Voice]

A former Jessamine County Emergency Medical Services employee has filed a lawsuit alleging discriminatory practices by the county. [H-L]

Two Republican judges declared the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional. This will further freak all the mouth-breathers out today. [Think Progress]

Whaaaat? Filings for unemployment benefits are at a five-week high? We thought everything with the economy was puppies and rainbows. [WLEX18]

Maybe the Republican House majority in Warshington isn’t so safe. [WaPo]

If Walmart can end its relationship with ALEC? Then there’s no excuse for Democratic legislators in Kentucky to continue ties with the organization. [HuffPo]

Apparently people who drive Fords will get preferential treatment at the Kentucky Speedway? [FOX41]

Private payroll growth accelerated only slightly last month and claims for jobless benefits rose last week, suggesting the U.S. labor market recovery was stalling after a strong performance early in the year. [Reuters]

A handful of bloated, white Republican men in Kentucky are claiming President Barack Obama is the economic satan. But let’s get back to reality and take a look at what Mittens Romney’s Massachusetts record actually contains. [Click the Clicky]

Michele Beard Bachmann’s Now A Swiss Patriot

What’s that? Oh, yes, President Barack Obama announced his support for gay marriage this afternoon. [Freedom to Marry, The Advocate, NYT, HuffPo, BBC, WaPo, Yahoo]

The president of a mail order bride company has been lobbying Republicans to water down protections for abused immigrants. [HuffPo]

Lexington is still super-nervous about potential United States Postal Service closures. [WLEX18]

Anybody receive those nasty, negative robocalls from Alecia Webb-Edgington? She’s had a lot of nasty things to say about her opponents. [Alecia’s Hypocrisy]

Why is the jack-booted government arresting all of these nice white supremacists?! [Wonkette]

Way to go, Morehead, this is just the sort of story you need to make the town seem awesome. [WKYT]

Way to go, Morgan County, for having one of your own stab a dog during a domestic dispute. Let’s keep it up with the backwater behavior. [H-L]

Gas prices have been falling for five consecutive weeks, defying prognosticators who said the cost would soar to a national average of $5 a gallon. [HuffPo]

Earlier today, Hershael York endorsed Gary Moore in the 4th District Congressional primary. [Press Release & Video]

Yep, let’s keep pretending mouth-breathers won’t vote on the basis of race and such. It’ll work out really well for the country. [WHAS11]

It’s always nice to see Kentucky artists getting lots of national recognition. So take a look at these ten Kentucky bands you should listen to now. [Paste Magazine]

Michele Beard Bachmann hates America so much that she has exercised her right to become a Swiss citizen. [Reuters]

Why do people choose political loyalties over facts? It’s likely not all about money and perceived superiority. [NPR]

The American Pain Foundation shut down as Senators launched an investigation of painkillers. [ProPublica]

Why Did McCheese Try To Hide His Tax Meeting?

Poor Mittens Romney still can’t figure out where he stands on the issue of immigration. [HuffPo]

Here’s the glowing mainstream media review of Jerry Abramson and his tax “reform” commission. Absolutely no mention of his attempt to stifle transparency and to keep proceedings secret. [C-J/AKN]

Lexington got something else right: the council voted against discussing a reduction of ambulance staffing levels. In Louisville, Metro Government allows EMS to continually fall off a cliff. [H-L]

Papaw and Jane thanked some man in Kansas for a free hot beef inj… donation. [WLEX18]

Look how cute! It’s Mitch McConnell pretending that only Democrats use Washington to come up with new campaign material. [WaPo]

You already know Whitley County is a hot mess so you won’t be surprised to learn a man assaulted somebody with brass knuckles. [WKYT]

So much for promised transparency! Jerry Abramson and the Beshear Administration tried to hide today’s tax “reform” meeting by asking the Legislative Research Commission to keep its cameras turned off. [Page One]

LG&E and Kentucky Utilities want to give you $30 for your old fridge or freezer. [FOX41]

So Barack Obama was all, hey students, let me come to your college and sing you some Al Green and whisper sweet nothings about Derrida and Pound and TS Eliot and also about how it is important that the interest rate on your student loan does not DOUBLE, and Republicans were all hey that is not fair because our position is really unpopular and you are being “political” and “pathetic” by pointing it out! [Wonkette]

Here you go. Here’s the University of Kentucky’s tuition hike funtimes. [H-L]

Of course a Republican group’s newsletter is urging an “armed revolution” if President Barack Obama is reelected. That’s how mouth-breathers operate. [HuffPo]

Facing federal action, Kentucky moved to increase reclamation bonds for surface mines. Funny how that always works. [WFPL]

Huge Scandal In Frankfort Just Got A Lot Worse

On January 5 we revealed the shocking news that State Senator Jimmy Higdon was a Secret Mexican.

Frankfort completely melted down and Doug Hawkins was spotted crying in Louisville.

Life got a whole lot worse for the Commonwealth on March 20, though, because we uncovered even more proof that Higdon is a Secret Mexican:

Troubling news, indeed. Damaging photographic evidence.

But this weekend, Higdon let himself slip by sending Jake a tweet IN SPANISH (translation for Frankfort: “IN MEXICAN”):

Alarming that this man is allowed to walk the halls of the capitol and the annex.

Jim Gray: Come Out With The Truth Right Now

Jim Gray may want to sack up and start answering questions about why Cheryl Taylor, the now-former Commissioner of Environmental Quality and Public Works was forced to resign. Taxpayers need to know if she funneled money to her husband. [H-L]

Laawwwwwwwd. You need to look at this fake picture of Michele and Marcus Bachmann and then read this hot mess of a story. You will pee all over yourself. [The Bilerico Project]

Did McCreary County buck a “Democrat” trend or a DemocratIC trend? You’d think a news editor would know. [McCreary County Record]

Mitch McConnell loves lately to pretend that he is bipartisan. You know that couldn’t be further from reality. [Politico]

Casey, Breathitt, Todd, Daviess, Livingston and Garrard Counties were selected to be audited for voting irregularities by Jack Conway’s office. [Press Release]

If California can stumble toward a solution to its public pension problem, why can’t Kentucky? Oh, right. Frankfort. [The Economist]

If racist halfwits ate anything other than corn syrup and pig anus, they’d be worried about their fear stifling the farming industry. [MSNBC]

Another day, another death at an Eastern Kentucky coal mine. But those regulations are so scary, right? [C-J/AKN]

The air is finally coming out of Sexytime Herman Cain’s sexytime crazy balloon. It’s a sad day for comedy in America. [Reuters]

The best part about living in the United States is that whole, you know… oh, right again. That whole bit about this apparently being a police state. Because a bunch of hippies are such a threat. [Wonkette]

Your U.S. Congress is still trying to choke the Government Accountability Office. Starving its own budget-saving watchdog seems the norm, though. [HuffPo]

Woah, who let Peppy Martin loose to drive around Lexington in the early morning hours!? [WLEX18]

People are really freaking out in Frankfort this week. Pointing out that rumors are just rumors doesn’t even seem to phase the Beshear crew. [Page One]

Candidates like Michele Bachmann and Sexytime Herman Cain are such hot messes even the most creepy mouth-breathers are freaked out. [NY Times]