War on Christmas a Hot Mess

From the Intrepid Reporter Dept of Dumb Shiz

We received a disturbing story from a friend last week: Apparently he was at a hardware story in Louisville and a clerk commented on how more people were saying ‘Merry Christmas’ this year than the last few seasons.

The friend was ready to endure the whole “War on Christmas” idiocy when the clerk floored him, saying, “The problem is we have SO many Jews in the area.” Mistake: Friend was Jewish. (Say it with us, “OH SNAP!”)

Good news: Our friend was smart enough to walk away without starting a fight with such an ignorant person. Bad news? Well, bad news for the woman at the hardware store, because… Our friends at The Meaningful Collateral have found the Jew that will take this clerk down. Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis. Yeah, that Ray Lewis.

¡ALERTA! Homo Blogging Moment

You have been warned.

We have just learned that someone very close to us knows the Scissor Sisters. (We’re not talking about Don McNay)

OH SNAP. It’s on.

The Scissor Sisters, if you’re not familiar, are… kind of a big deal. Such a big deal that Page One’s resident known homosexual went to London in December 2004 just to see them perform at Brixton Academy. They got their start in Kentucky with band member Scott Hoffman. Proving we’re a hotbed for the world’s talent.

There you have it. Your Kentucky-based homo blogging moment.

Hebert to John Y: Get Over It!

In an interesting story about inaugural day festivities, WHAS11’s Mark Hebert made a funny about former governor John Y. Brown, Jr. being pissy with Steve Beshear since 1987.

All of the living governors attended the inauguration festivities except for John Y. Brown Jr. Brown still isn’t speaking to Beshear after Beshear’s repeated attacks on Brown during the 1987 governor’s race, 20 YEARS AGO!!!!! Get over it!

Heb does make a good point. It’s been 20 years. We couldn’t help but laugh upon reading the story. 20-year-old cat fights are nothing but humor.

Cashing In on the Gullible 9/11-Style

UofL Basketball Coach Rick Pitino – the Famous Democrat and supporter of Bruce Lunsford – is supporting 9udy 11iuliani and attended a major fundraiser for the presidential candidate at Jeff Ruby’s in Louisville yesterday. Definitely leaves one wondering whether or not Rick Pitino knows how to think for himself… and whether or not he realizes 9udy has done nothing but pretend to be the savior from September 11, 2001.

Coach P says 9udy 11iuliani uplifted NYC during a time of tragedy. We have to wonder if Pitino is talking about working with crooked Bernie Kerik? Maybe all the crap Mr. 9/11 never accomplished? Who even knows?

Pitino’s endorsement definitely promotes the 9udy 11iuliani insanity among the believe-it-if-it’s-on-TV crowd. 9/11! 9/11! 9udy saved the world! How embarrassing. Not that anyone takes him seriously when it comes to politics or anything.

This little incident reminds us of this amazing ‘Rudy for the Gays’ commercial:

The Gays Really Are Taking Over

Not only are the gays ruling the world from San Francisco and New York City (and Hollywood) but they’re flooding Kentucky. More than 10,000 couples identified themselves as the gay in Kentucky last year. That’s 12 times more than in 1990. RUN!!!

It’s really part of a national trend toward openness. More and more people feel safer in America and are beginning to let the government know via census data. Now that the heathen libruls have taken over almost 60% of Americans have the audacity to support such immorality. Totally ruining our valuable gay cards during election years.

Don’t worry, though, most of the gays in Kentucky have decided to empty out their closets in rainbow-colored Louisville. The city has experienced 151% increases in homo-satan couples since 2000. The gays have even taken over city government with as many as three holding elected office. The horrors!

If ever you’ve feared a major redecoration or intense scrutiny of your Ugg boots… or maybe your bad comb-over or that ugly double-breasted jacket? Now’s the time to hide. Protect yourself Betty Bowers-style because the end of morality is near! This guy is so taking over.

Allison Patrick: Used Car Saleswoman

Reading conservative blogs pays off. For real.

From Brett Hall:

Allie Patrick, the 22 year-old fiancée of Lieutenant Governor-elect Dan Mongiardo, is running in an online contest for a job selling used automobiles on Lexington TV. In her show audition today, Patrick appeared on Courtesy Pontiac-Acura’s Courtesy on Wheels show on WDKY TV, Lexington’s FOX affiliate. The show features host Dan Glass, along with a female hostess, hawking used cars that roll by in front of viewers. The auto dealership is conducting an online poll for a new show hostess in conjunction with audition appearances by several contestants.

Got that? This is what we have to look forward to. Four years (or until Dan Mongiardo runs for the U.S. Senate in 2010) of Allison Patrick selling using cars on television. Is she an HFH in the making? If Patrick and Mongiardo eventually get married… will she be allowed to remain on the tube? Will she do voice-overs for Insight? Maybe pose with a milk jug or two?

There’s no way this one can stay out of the news for long.

Peep the goods for yourself: