Thanksgiving Eve Afternoon Time Wasting

Oh, haha, so, funny story… Today just might have been a slower news day than yesterday.

Anyone else surprised that the State Parks didn’t put out a press release about Thanksgiving meals at the parks early this week? Weird. Yes, it’s so slow that we’re thinking about that.

So seriously – which one of our rich sugar daddies/mommas is gonna buy us a new television? All these Black Friday deals are gonna make it highly affordable for you. Especially if you want us to, you know, spin stories your way for the next few months.

Enjoy Thanksgiving. We’re going to spend all day watching rented movies from iTunes. The Great Escape and Swiss Family Robinson!

Did you live or work within 3.5 miles of the Bullitt County train derailment in January 2007? Time to join up on the lawsuit so you can bank your $10,000 or whatever. [Settlement Info]

Remember that awful lady who caused a girl to kill herself over MySpace? She was just convicted on misdemeanor charges. Three charges of accessing a computer without authorization. Each count punishable by up to one year in prison and a $100,000 fine. [Huffington Post]

Haha. Some nutbag couple is pushing the Supreme Court to hear their case challenging Barack Obama’s U.S. citizenship. [First Read]

From the Department of Nah, You Don’t Say. The Herald-Leader editorial board says that Blue Grass Airport’s spending deserves scrutiny. Giving Michael Gobb a blank check because he’s doing a good job is hardly the right thing to do and it’s a total waste of money. [H-L]

Aww, lookit. Dubya pardons his last turkey. And it wasn’t even a member of his administration. [YouTube]

December 1st is World Aids Day. So now’s a good time to read up on information and statistics related to HIV/AIDS in Kentucky. [KDPH PDF]

Today Is Slower Than That Slow-Motion Nightmare We Have Where Jim Gooch Is Trampling Us As He Chases Ruth Ann Palumbo Down As She Runs Away With His Coconut Cake

Our old school 19″ teevee died today. Guess this means someone needs to buy us a fancy LCD of some sort ASAP! You’ve been notified.

We just spent eleventy hundred thousand hours prepping for taxes and it is official: we hate them. Ugh. Thank goodness NOTHING is happening in the news today.

We also spent most of the day listening to this new song on repeat. Apparently we have been suckered into liking a “pop” song by some gentleman’s group called “The Fray.” Is that bad? Does this mean we’ve sold out and become a follower (like having an iPhone and new MBP don’t already prove we’re elitists or something)?

Ran into our buddy William today – I forgot to ask him which episodes of Lost he’ll be in this season. Needless to say, we’ll remember next time.

In other news, we hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving or al Qaeda turkeys or whatever it is you do on Thursday. If you have the time, go work in your local shelter while you’re off work. We’re fans of Wayside Christian Mission. Not familiar with shelters around the state, so, post links and junk in the comments if you wish.

Guess it’s time for us to get back to watching this video of a cat chasing its leash over and over as we count our millions of dollars from Bruce Lunsford while writing poetry about the awesome sounds of partial-birth abortions.

Dubya came to Ft. Campbell. The American people are safer but broke. The end. [C-J Political Blog]

In case you were wondering? This is what’s wrong with America. [Wonkette & AIG]

Known urine-injecter Ann Coulter has had her mouth wired shut. For reals. [Huffington Post]

ALERT! Humana is GAY! Humana has become a sponsor of DOLLYWOOD. Dollywood, people. Dollywood! [Business First]

Last night, the nation’s fifth hand transplant took place at Jewish Hospital in Louisville. The patient, Jan “Erik” Hondusky, is in stable condition. The surgery took nine hours (the amount of time it takes us to count our millions funneled in from Trey Grayson and Jonathan Hurst). Hondusky is a 43-year-old production worker who injured his right hand in a furnace accident in 2006. Kind of exciting for this to happen in our beautiful Commonwealth. [Press Release]

Old Fat Naked Women For Peace. The jury is out on whether or not we’re supposed to be afraid of this. [Righteous Mothers Video]

Since it’s the holidays and all that, this is for all the homosexuals, latent homosexuals and ladies. [Clicky Clicky]

Mukasey Had The Old People Vapors

Yes, it’s true, Michael Mukasey merely suffered from a touch of the old people vapors.

He just had what a spokeswoman for the Department of Justice called “a fainting spell,” which is Republican code for “collapse due to oldness.”

And, since we’re sick, sick you-know-whats, let’s watch fancy video footage of that old people spell. Pay close attention to the lady screaming, “OH GAWD!!!!!”

10 Years Later, Tobacco Deal Up In Smoke

That’s according to MSNBC’s Red Tape Chronicles.

Yesterday you read information we received from PhillipMorris’ PR firm and from the Governor’s office. So now read this.

The money was supposed to help the states pay for health care and anti-smoking campaigns. Instead, much of it — even payments that aren’t due for 20 years — has already been spent on politically popular tax breaks through complicated borrowing schemes initiated by Wall Street investment banks.

Because these states have essentially borrowed against future payments from the tobacco industry, they are now dependent on the continued vitality of cigarette sales. If Big Tobacco stumbles, states will be on the hook for these massive, billion-dollar loans. In other words, David and Goliath are now allies.

Where did those loans come from? Perhaps from you. When Wall Street talked 25 states into borrowing against future tobacco payments — a process known as “securitization” — it sold bonds to individual investors and mutual funds that buy municipal bonds. Now, they are betting on Big Tobacco, too.


From the start, the tobacco settlement money was intended to help states pay for health care costs related to smoking illnesses and to fund smoking-cessation programs, though the agreement not bind the states to use it for those purposes.

But to date, only about 3 percent of the tobacco settlement money has gone to cessation efforts, such as “quit smoking” marketing campaigns. Meanwhile, 10 times that amount has been used by state legislatures to plug budget gaps, or by governors to offer tax relief.

Yeah, much more interesting than fabricated PR and government spin.

Tobacco Settlement Agreement – Ten Years Later

It’s been ten years since the big tobacco Master Settlement Agreement (MSA). In 1998, the nation’s big cancer stick manufacturers signed the contract with the Attorneys General of 46 states, territories and Washington, D.C.

Here’s a quickie refresher on the basic purposes of the agreement: to resolve litigation brought by the states for health care reimbursement (everyone is dying of the tobacco cancer); to impose restrictions on tobacco marketing (no cartoons, no advertising on buses, etc) and advertising methods that were contributing significantly to the youth smoking epidemic; and to reduce (hopefully end) youth smoking and promote public health.

The MSA allows public access to tobacco company documents and required AGs be provided with $50 million for enforcement and implementation of the agreement. So check them out. See the Kentucky tobacco directory by clicking here.

We’re not one to tout anything like this (It’s a slow a news day…) usually, since we’d love nothing more than for all of these companies to disappear entirely, but it’s significant news. Youth smoking rates have declined significantly. 12th graders who reported smoking at least once in the past 30 days has declined from 34.6% in 1999 to 21.6% in 2006. The percentage of 12-17-year-olds who report currently smoking has fallen from 20.9% in 1991 to 10.8% in 2005.

Read the rest of this boring post after the jump…

Read moreTobacco Settlement Agreement – Ten Years Later

Ruh Ro: Some Big VA Money Scandal

Oh snap. There’s a big ass V.A. scandal going down. Here’s Hebert’s teaser.

And here’s the C-J story:

Fourteen people were indicted yesterday in Louisville for conspiring to defraud the Veterans Administration out of $1.9 million by fabricating phony claims for disabilities.

The indictment alleges that the ringleaders were Daniel Ryan Parker, 37, a supervisor at Disabled American Veterans in Louisville, and Jeffrey Allan McGill, also 37, who worked at the VA regional office in Louisville and whose job was reviewing claims.

The indictment also alleges that 11 veterans falsely claimed to suffer from bipolar disorder, hearing loss, frostbite, back injuries and other ailments and disabilities.

The veterans allegedly received lump-sum payments for back pay and then kick backed as much as two-thirds of it to Parker and McGill, according to the indictment.

This is the lowest of the low. Lower than anything Robert Felner ever did. Dishonoring and taking advantage of the one segment of society who TRULY deserves to be put on a pedestal and taken care of forever? Scum of the earth.

Meanwhile, hundreds of veterans are homeless and dying in Kentucky thanks to inadequate care and support from these douche nozzles.

Keep checking the C-J story for updates from Andy Wolfson, one of the best reporters on-staff at the Courier-Journal.

And be thankful for David Huber and the rest of his crew in the U.S. Attorney’s office. Here’s hoping the Obama Administration keeps him around.

Secretary of State’s Mock Election 2008

Secretary of State Trey Grayson held the annual mock election this week. Over 100,000 elementary, middle and high school students across the Commonwealth cast their vote for President, Congress and voiced their opinion on the most important issue facing the United States.

“It is essential that students become acclimated to the democratic process, and there is no better way than for them to participate in the process themselves,” stated Secretary Grayson. “We hope that this will begin a lifelong commitment to voting among these young people.”

We’re not sure if Trey’s Party affiliation sways votes, but it’s interesting that every single time he holds one of these, Republicans edge out Democrats. Which makes zero sense/doesn’t add up. But this IS Kentucky. That said, it’s still fun. Take a look at some pictures of some of the kids “debating” and check out the crowd.

Now for the results:

McCain/Palin 48.6%
Obama/Biden 47%
Nader/Gonzalez 3.1%
Baldwin/Thornsberry 0.6%
Barr/Root 0.8%

See the rest after the jump…

Read moreSecretary of State’s Mock Election 2008