Oh Snap Monday! Everyone Hates Mitch Edition

Gay-hater and world renowned bigot Jesse Helms finally died. After 86 years of ruining the lives of everyone he could. He hated the homos, Martin Luther King, Jr. Naturally, king of the Republican hate mongers Mitch McConnell released a statement praising Helms as “a leading voice and courageous champion for the many causes he believed in” and “Senator Helms certainly was no bigot. He was a man, however, not into subtlety.” Nice. [ABC News and Houston Chronicle]

Mitch McConnell hates everybody with AIDS and wants them all to die. Especially if they’re in Africa. George W. Bush loves everybody with AIDS and wants to give them all kinds of money. [C-J]

According to Mitch McConnell, people in Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas think oil rigs are pretty. He actually said that. In public. At the Commerce Lexington Public Affairs Luncheon on Tuesday. Like “pretty” has jack to do with expanded off-shore drilling in the United States. [PolitickerKY]

Lowell Reese, editor of the Kentucky Gazette, told Southern Political Report that he doesn’t know anybody who would consider Bruce Lunsford a liberal. Contrary to everything the McConnell campaign is spewing 24/7. Imagine that. [Southern Political Report]

The Courier-Journal editorial board must hate Mitch McConnell and David Williams. Check what the paper had to say about following the money while watching our state’s disadvantaged and disabled suffer neglect. “Real people are getting hurt, thanks to the no-new-tax marching orders that Sen. Mitch McConnell gave the General Assembly’s Republican majority when it took power, and that Senate President David Williams has followed.” [C-J]

Joe Roche wrote a nice, right-wing op-ed for the Herald-Leader about Eye-rack and how swimmingly swell things are going in that godforsaken country. Of course, he had to praise Mitch McConnell for “being central to our success” and for preventing Democrats from pulling out of Iraq 40 times. 40 separate instances of obstruction on Iraq! Roche says, “Were it not for McConnell, I’m not sure how Bush would have been able to maintain our success.” [H-L]

Remember Frank Simon confidant and right-winger who wants to abolish public education Jim Waters? Apparently he’s now an expert on free trade, Columbia and all things John Yarmuth and Ben Chandler. [Georgetown News Graphic]

Remember when Mitch McConnell blamed Bruce Lunsford for the negative (and true) attack ad the Sierra Club is running against him (McConnell)? Listen to the ad and then check out Trey Pollard’s well-researched debunking of everything the McConnell camp is spinning. He uses something called facts, apparently. [PolitickerKY]

TGIT! Three-Day Weekend Update Edition!

Ellis Park in Henderson is closing for good. It’s all about the Benjamins. When owner Ron Geary couldn’t get an injunction against a horsey set that would have allowed him to use national account wagering outlets, he decided to call it quits. The summer meet was scheduled to begin on Friday. [C-J]

How fancy is it that Steve Beshear appointed Stephanie Bell, a big dog fundraiser and head of the fundraising group ‘The Capitol Club’ – which took heat for hosting a fundraiser at the governor’s mansion – anyway, he appointed hera policy advisor for the Public Service Commission. Common Cause isn’t a fan of the move and made its opinion known. [PolWatchers]

Mayor Jerry and Governor Steve say they’re going to fix gas prices. But they have no plan or anything, you know, that they can actually do to figure out wtf is up. This should be exciting. [The ‘Ville Voice]

Speaking of gas prices, Congressman John Yarmuth and Attorney General Jack Conway are holding a press conference later this morning to discuss actions that could cut gas prices in Kentucky/nationwide. 11:00 A.M. at the corner of Taylorsville Road and Furman Blvd in Louisville. All you media types show up so we can watch it on the noon news. [Press Release]

Oh Jesus! We’re about to pee all over the place. Mitch McConnell’s crew says the Sierra Club is one of Bruce Lunsford’s allies. HAHAHAHA. The Sierra Club may run ads against Mitch McConnell but who in their right mind would ever think the Sierra Club is an ally of Bruce Lunsford’s? What the eff kind of crack are they smoking? Justin Brasell can keep calling Bruce a “goose” because we’ve got quite a few things we could legitimately call Mitch. Don’t tempt us. [Mitch’s “Blog”]

Speaking of Mitch McConnell. Senator Arlen Specter had a few choice words for him on the Oncological community and the nasty Medicare vote for which McConnell is responsible. [The Crypt]

Tuesday Update Dept of Buy Us a MacBook Pro, 15″, Glossy, 4gigs of RAM OR ELSE!!!

David Boswell and Brett Guthrie are in a virtual dead heat according to the latest SurveyUSA polling data. Boswell leads Guthrie 47-44 with a 4.3% margin of error. Only 9% of likely voters say they’re undecided. The two are tied among males but females prefer Boswell, the Democrat, 48-42. [Mark Hebert]

A British invasion? The Jakals (from southern England) will be performing tonight in Louisville at the Rudyard Kipling at 8:00 P.M. Their first appearance was in our fancy pants hometown in middle of nowhere West Liberty, deep in the hills of eastern Kentucky. Turns out they’re actually using a company in West Liberty (!!) to distribute their CD here in the U.S. and A. [Jakals, Rudyard Kipling]

There’s still no word on whether or not Mitch McConnell plans to hire anyone from Kentucky to work on his campaign. If you missed it, his treasurer lives in Indiana, none of the contacts on his campaign’s Statement of Organization are in Kentucky and only one of the three banks his campaign uses is located in the Bluegrass State. [Page One]

Do you have AB positive or AB negative blood? Get your ass to the Chestnut Street Red Cross in Louisville ASAP. There is an emergency need for that particular type of plasma. Please specify that your donation is for C. Thomas Bennett at Baptist East. [Just Do It]

Editors at Bloomberg noted on Friday that U.S. stock declines were the worst since June… of 1930! The Great Depression! Yeah, little economic mix-up, my formerly fat ass! Basically, the world is effed and we’re all gonna die of the poverty. [Bloomberg]

Thanks to rising gas prices, the Kentucky State Police is cutting back on patrols. So this basically means you’re less safe as a direct result of the economy. But the free market will fix that, right? I can’t remember which right-wing spin is appropriate in this instance. And this isn’t just happening with the KSP. It’s across the board. [C-J]

Oh Snap Monday! Mitch Hides Again Edition

Guns guns guns guns guns guns guns guns guns guns guns. Mitch McConnell. Global Warming. Global Warming. Global Warming. Global Warming. War. Everybody hates Al Gore! Global Warming. War war war war war. [C-J]

Did you know liberals are responsible for high gas prices? It’s true. And conservation is also to blame. And the “environmental lobby” is the root of all evil. So give Mitch McConnell all of your money and he’ll save the world from us heathen fruitcake tree huggers. Meanwhile, Larry Craig and David Vitter have foot-tapping diaper rendezvous all across the land. [Some Concern Troll]

Northern Kentucky is in for the fight of a lifetime over a pending smoking ban. Get ready for all kinds of ‘smoking is good for babies’ rhetoric. Just look to the events that have gone down in Louisville and Lexington over the past few years and you’ll be able to get a good indicator of what you’re in for. [Pat Crowley]

McConnell admits Republicans won’t be the Senate majority next year. [CNN]

All kinds of legislators are saying Paul Patton left a legacy of bold leadership. For real. Both sides of the aisle. [H-L]

Mitch McConnell and John McCain raised $2 million dollars in Louisville on Saturday. The funds will be split between the McCain camp, the Republican National Committee and the Republican Party of Kentucky. [H-L]

The mainstream media, naturally, ignored protesters at the event. So. You’ll just have to read about them, view photographs (omg the obesity) and watch video provided by Jim Pence. Also, Elaine Chao sure knows how to spend gubmint money when getting her nails done. Two SUVs and six security folks. Don’t miss the video of McConnell and McCain supporters getting all nervous and uncomfortable. The gum chewing lady with a perm (a perm!) is our favorite. The po-leece mens being directed by the Secret Service to hide protesters from Mitch McConnell is our second favorite. Like Bill Londrigan is a threat to Mitch’s safety– ha! [Hillbilly Report]

Video after the jump…

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Saturday Update For Lazy Bums Everywhere

Another Knott County Judge-Executive could be going to prison for vote buying! Second in a row! The best part is the dude could actually remain Judge-Executive WHILE IN PRISON so long as he is appealing. [H-L]

Mitch McConnell cast the deciding vote against legislation that would have prevented major Medicare cuts and reimbursement rates to physicians. Now everyone is going to die and it’s all McConnell’s fault. Not surprising, really, since he’s voted against Medicare funding at least 16 times and has taken more than $800,000 in contributions from the mega-insurance industry. So much for that $190 million Kentucky will lose in the first year alone. [DSCC]

The pig pit is stinky. And you know how Republicans love love love love pork. Mitch McConnell and Hal Rogers are all up on it and will never give pork up. So it looks like Boss Hog is going to be at odds with McCain for a while. Since it’s the weekend and you obviously have nothing better to do, you can search through the 2008 McConnell-Rogers earmarks database. [PolWatchers, Earmarks Database]

In case you missed it, Rasmussen says McConnell is ahead of Lunsford by 7 points. With a margin of error of 4.5 percent, we’re pretty sure it’s saying the same thing all the other polls are showing– this is a real race. And McConnell is STILL under 50. [The Arena]

Morgan Wilkins was at one point Keith Olbermann’s Worst Person in the World for her racist and bigoted behavior at the University of Michigan. That was while she was leaving her kid behind, of course. Now she says she’s using her military sign-on bonus to start a satirical newspaper or whatever instead of taking care of her kid with it. Anyway, we’ll never forget the photo of Morgan holding a sign that reads, “Isn’t the front of the front of the bus enough??” [Racist Photo]