Penguin poop, Miss Kentucky,

Okay, so we made the “stellar” bit up.

HEAD – DESK.

That’s why Kentucky can’t have nice things.

Here’s the latest, highlighted by ProPublica:

CLICK TO ENLARGE

It links to this story and it’s spreading like wildfire.

Steve Beshear, who once spent an entire day on national television apologizing for Toyota, is no where to be found. No leaders from Kentucky are ever out there trying to give the nation a better opinion of Kentucky.

This is why Kentucky can’t have nice things.

HAHA, did you see that bit where loser candidate Mike Harmon pre-filed legislation to allow gubernatorial candidates to select their running mates after they’re elected? HAHAHA. [HAHAHA]

Some climate strategists are looking beyond the United Nations and the idea of remaking the energy economy — and toward the world’s tropical forests. [NPR]

An immigrant detention center in Kentucky has persistently violated the human rights of inmates. Yet another thing Kentuckians can be proud of. [H-L]

Kentuckians can also be proud of probably leading the nation when it comes to jailing child status offenders. [C-J/AKN]

Kentuckians won’t be shocked to learn that the government tested AIDS drugs on foster kids. [MSNBC]

Roadside Redneck Scrabble is mostly limited to the letters O, B, A, M, A. Hahaha. Yet another pee alert. The Tea Klux Klan rides again. [Wonkette]

The common sense Republican in the presidential race gets laughed off the stage by all the mouth-breathers. You’d think people with a lick of sense would recognize Jon Huntsman would give them more than a hope. [Politico]

We love that Brave Patriot Marilyn Parker is running for Metro Council in Louisville. PRAISE ALLAH! She is a genius among geniuses. [WFPL]

Mouth-breathers are freaking completely out over Kentuckian Matthew Barzun leading President Barack Obama’s fundraising efforts for re-election. [Bloomberg]

Mitch McConnell admitted to holding hostages on the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau front. [Crooks & Liars]

Jim Host is finally stepping down from the Arena Authority. Because he plans to pretend something else is important. [More WFPL]

Paul Krugman says the United States is in a depression. Democrats and Republicans alike will claim otherwise. [NY Times]

Unemployment is the world’s fastest-rising concern but people like Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul want to ignore it. [HuffPo]

Then you’ll want to read this knuckle-dragging, ignorant letter from Hart County Schools Superintendent Ricky Line to Terry Holliday and the Kentucky Board of Education:

I have a deep concern about the increased emphasis on the evolution content required in the new End-of-Course Blueprint (Blueprint). After carefully reviewing the Blueprint, I find the increase is substantial and alarming. As a result, I have arrived at a point in my leadership that I have to certify — to seal, if you will — with my actions what I believe and what I teach.

After Hart County Schools’ Core Content meetings in late October, I became aware that students will be tested from the enclosed Blueprint. I have a very difficult time believing that we have come to a point in education that we are teaching evolution, not the theory of evolution, as a factual occurrence, while totally omitting the creation story by a God who is bigger than all of us. I do not believe in macroevolution, and I do believe in creation by our God. I now stand to certify, and seal, my convictions.

-SNIP-

The proposed standards and accompanying End-of-Course exam would require many science teachers to sacrifice their values merely so that students can pass the test and course.

-SNIP-

[F]orcing them to consider a theory as factual and then requiring 20% or more of their time be spent on this content is nothing more than indoctrination.

-SNIP-

Do you believe that macroevolution contradicts the Bible and God’s hand in creation?

-SNIP-

I ask each of you to both stop this egregious promotion of evolutionary theory as fact and eliminate the requirement to adhere to a belief system which conflicts with the values of most Commonwealth families.

Click here (Warning: PDF Link) to read Line’s mind-numbing letter.

You catch that? A superintendent of public schools yelling at Holliday and the Board of Education about a theory while demanding that his own theory of the world being 5,000-years-old be taught as factual. HAHAHA. And you wonder why Kentucky is consistently portrayed as barefoot and toothless on the national stage.

You’ll definitely want to read the rest after the jump because Terry Holliday’s response is golden…

Fortunately for Kentucky, Terry Holliday (while probably a waste of money and someone Steve Beshear wishes he didn’t have on staff) is not an idiot and he responded beautifully:

In science, a theory is a statement of general ideas that explains many observations by natural means. To a scientist, the word “theory” is a very precise term to identify a concept that has great utility in explaining phenomena in the natural world. Ideas only rise to the level of a theory in science if they have withstood much scrutiny and are exceptionally useful in explaining a wide variety of independent observations. Any theory can be altered or replaced if new observations or new scientific evidence cannot be adequately explained by it. In science, facts never become theories. Rather, theories explain facts. No theory is immune to revision or replacement should new evidence surface. There is a substantial difference between the “everyday” meaning of the word “theory” and the scientific meaning of the word. An idea is often labeled a theory for the purpose of painting it as little more than a guess. This use of “theory” demonstrates a lack of understanding of the scientific meaning of the term. Referring to biological evolution as a theory for the purpose of contesting it would be counterproductive, since scientists only grant the status of theory to well-tested ideas. 

Additionally, science is not a system of belief. To ask if a scientist ‘believes’ in the theory of evolution is an improper question because the term ‘belief’ implies a position or opinion based on faith. A biologist would properly say he/she understands and acknowledges the evidence supporting the theory of evolution. Belief is an act of faith and is not necessarily concerned with the availability of supporting evidence. For this reason, beliefs are not considered to be within the realm of science.  Moreover, the federal courts have ruled that creation science, a religious concept or belief, is not science at all.

-SNIP-

Since college and career readiness is our goal for all students, we would be doing them a disservice by denying them the opportunity to learn science concepts required to obtain that goal. Evolutionary theory is one of the foundational components of modern biology, and it most certainly plays a significant part in college biology coursework.

Click here (Warning: PDF Link) to read Holliday’s letter in its entirety.

We nearly peed laughing as we read Holliday’s response.

It’s completely laughable that the head of an entire county’s school system would make his outdated religious beliefs such a priority.

Really, no wonder Kentucky kids are screwed.

Guess we’re supposed to take him seriously after he continually does stupid shiz like that.

Former Governor John Y. Brown II says one thing to the press about liking Steve Beshear now. He says another behind closed doors when the press aren’t around. Let’s just say it has something to do with casinos and leave it at that. [Bluegrass Politics]

Today the Kentucky Transportation Cabinet awarded a $3.7 million contract to an Ohio company to increase capacity around the Kentucky Speedway. Head – desk? [Press Release]

Presidential pardons heavily favor whites. You should probably read this story. [Pro Publica]

Yep, this is the kind of crap Kentucky’s in the national news for. Such an honor for our Commonwealth. [HuffPo]

Elaine Walker is now commissioner of the Kentucky Department of Parks. She got her sweetheart deal anyway. [Business First]

Here’s how Europe’s economic troubles could quickly become our own. [NPR]

Of course the old gay would liken the Republican field of presidential candidates to characters in the gayest movie ever. [The Hill]

Republicans are finally admitting that they’re opposed to payroll tax cuts that benefit lower and middle class America. [WaPo]

It kind of falls of deaf ears that Kentucky’s congressional delegation is only now beginning to pay attention to proposed postal cuts. [H-L]

Michele Beard Bachmann lobbied for the pardon of one of her campaign donors. Interesting how that works. [HuffPo]

Joe Gerth took a look at how Brereton Jones handled records relating to child abuse and death and how Steve Beshear and Janie Miller (ask Daniel Mongiardo about her) have played pat-a-cake. This is also a look at how Jerry Abramson lackey Tina Heavrin is going to cause problems for the Beshear-Abramson term. [C-J/AKN]

The latest UN climate summit says a lot about why the world is failing to tackle global warming. [The Economist]

Kentucky State Parks offer tons of New Year’s Eve fun and you should make note of what’s available in your own back yard. [Page One]

This is a very important Sexytime Herman Cain video. It is eerily accurate. Consider this a pee alert. [YouTube]

Congressman John Yarmuth’s press secretary, Trey Pollard, is leaving the job on Thursday to become the deputy press secretary for the Sierra Club. Stephen George becomes the new spokesperson. [Press Releases]

This is ridiculous. Constitutionally guaranteeing gambling revenue for a specific corporation or industry is anti-American and anti-Kentuckian. [Ryan Alessi]

It’s terrific that this is the sort of tripe story that’s constantly in the national press about Kentucky. Steve Beshear needs to get his wrinkled old ass in gear to start promoting a more positive image of the Commonwealth. [HuffPo]

The former Lexington lie-berry lady just got her butt handed to her. Turns out she really was fired for being bad at her job – because she’s female. [H-L]

While this proves there is still human decency? It’s one of the saddest things you can envision. This is what our country has come to. Trying to evict 103-year-old ladies from their homes. [Think Progress]

Seems like every time you open your eyes, there’s a new deadly traffic accident somewhere in Eastern Kentucky that takes the life of a child. [WKYT]

It only cost $587,000 for Frankfort’s little legislative party. What fun! At least we got that video of Greg and David out of it. [More C-J/AKN]

Louisville’s Metro Council is putting tighter control on constables like that crazy guy who shot a lady in the face. Now it’s time for the state legislature to give cities and counties the ability to nix the office if they so desire. [WFPL]

Michele Bachmann truly is dumber than a box of rocks. Her latest gaffe where she knew nothing about Iran is just the icing on the crazy cake. [HuffPo]

A new report from the Department of Education reveals that districts around the country pay teachers less in poor schools than in schools in wealthier areas. [NY Times]

The father of Liberty Christ is going after Newt Gingrich in Iowa for being an all-around awful person. [WaPo]

Regulators warned eight coal mines – including one in Kentucky – about significant violations of health and safety rules. [H-L]

Mark our words: this cost-cutting move by Gannett to use Facebook for commenting on all of its newspaper stories will end up costing the company millions more than they think they’re going to save. It’s also a silly, disastrous move on the front of giving up control of its product(s). It’ll be fun to watch this mess. This is another HUGE indication of financial meltdown. [C-J/AKN]

The repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell seems to be going more smoothly than expected, according to top Marine brass. [HuffPo]

Really? You mean you really thought the Euro zone would last? Come on. That whole single currency thing was bound to fail eventually. [The Economist]

Uh, how is Steve Beshear’s victory over someone who is absolutely hated in Kentucky a playbook for how to win conservative states? Alex Isenstadt has to be more disconnected than Dave Catanese, who took his talking points directly from his friend at the DGA. Even Joe Gerth thinks that’s bogus. [Politico & Joe Gerth]

Here’s an embarrassing story about whistleblower laws that makes Kentucky look absolutely ridiculous. [Reuters]

Mitch McConnell may not be unhappy with the failure of the supercommittee? You don’t say! [H-L]

You, like us, cringe a little when you read the headline, New details in Kentucky’s “No Child Left Behind” application for exemption. Not because NCLB isn’t a joke but because any time education in Kentucky gets mentioned, the story ends badly. [WKYT]

Lexington is the place you go if you want to get shot. Louisville is the place you go if you want to get run over by a vehicle. [WHAS11]

Haha, last week Barack Obama pardoned Liberty and Peace while Civil Rights and Economic Security made their final stops at a slaughterhouse. [Wonkette]

You’re not remotely shocked that secret fed loans gave banks an undisclosed $13 billion. [Bloomberg]

Sam Brownback is acting like Jack Conway and Steve Beshear. He’s going after a girl who dared criticize him. [HuffPo]

One-termer?