Oh Snap Monday! Voting Soon Edition.

A member of Hillary Clinton’s financial steering committee admitted to not only bundling hundreds of thousands of dollars but making illegal contributions in the names of others. Imagine that. [Hillary is 44]

A previously unknown cache of documents related to the assassination of JFK were discovered in the Dallas County District Attorney’s office (Texas) and have been released to the public for examination. [Dallas Morning News]

In the 3rd District Republican race for U.S. Congress, Corley Everett has dropped out and endorsed Anne Northup’s chief opponent, Chris Thieneman. Everett and Thieneman have a press conference planned this morning where they’ll discuss everything. [Hebert]

Former Congressman Ken Lucas endorsed Bruce Lunsford for U.S. Senate and recorded a telephone message in support of Lunsford that’s being used in Northern Kentucky. Lucas also campaigned with Lunsford at the 23rd Annual MainStrasse Village Maifest in Covington over the weekend. [Crowley]

The 84th District State House race is heating up and someone is distributing flyers with candidate Benny Ray Baily, Jr’s police record. Go take a look. And don’t forget to read the million comments associated with the story. [The Rural Democrat]

Some supporters of Greg Fischer allege Bruce Lunsford is playing the race card (by saying Fischer has endorsed Obama or something) in an attempt to subvert attention from the Obama flyer produced by the Fischer campaign. For the record, the Fischer campaign illegally produced flyers featuring both Fischer and Obama. He doesn’t have to endorse him, he’s made an illegal contribution to him. And thanks to the Fischer supporter for posting photos of Fischer’s signs being illegally placed in the right-of-way. [BGR]

Wednesday Update Dept. Hillary Squeaks By Edition

Did you know? There was a primary in Indiana and North Carolina last night. Hillary Clinton beat that mean, black elitist Barack Obama by something like two percentage points. So much for that tie-breaker in Indiana, eh? Now we can count on non-stop campaigning in Kentucky, Jonathan Hurst on the teevee 24/7, Jerry Lundergan on the teevee 24/7, Ben Chandler on the teevee 24/7. OMG. It’ll never end even though it’s over. [MSNBC, Wonkette]

The Herald-Leader is so broke and falling apart (but it’s still a million years better than the Gannett monster in Louisville) that it’s offering buyout packages to employees. [Hebert]

Johnny Ray Turner and Eric Shame Hamilton face each other on May 20. Turner has a major vote-buying scandal under his belt and Hamilton is the poster boy for slumlord or whatever. Can you imagine that race? How on earth do you pick who you want to vote for? [H-L]

The Sam Beverage-Marc Williams-DLZ thing is still going on. Really. A hearing officer recommended Williams be found not guilty and everyone is wetting themselves to get that recommendation overturned. The Fletcher administration will last forever, apparently. [C-J]

Ugh. Poor choices of words plague Kentuckians in power more often than not, right? Well, Greg Stumbo, in a discussion about supporting people we (he/us/Kentuckians) know, said, “We’re a very clannish state in a lot of ways.” We’re just glad Alessi didn’t use the word that starts with a ‘k’ in Stumbo’s quote. Clannish. Really? [PolWatchers]

If you missed the debate between Second Congressional District Democrats David Boswell and Reid Haire, go watch it. Keep a bucket nearby for vomiting purposes and remember: it could be worse. [KET]

It’s Thursday. Hot & Humid Update Edition.

Via Hebert, we learn that Mark Donham, a former employee of the Paducah Gaseous Diffusion uranium enrichment plant, says Mitch McConnell’s latest campaign ad is misleading. Wait. Who is surprised? [Rural Thoughts]

Pretzeldential hopeful John McCain invaded Inez yesterday with his crazy bus or whatever. Beyond foaming about war and having no understanding of the economy or anything like that, McCain apparently delivered moving remarks that drew out the entire community. The H-L story about the shenanigans would lead an uninformed leader to believe that McCain is the savior of rural poor people. [PolWatchers]

Senators Mitch McConnell (R-Powerful) and Jim Bunning (R-Time to Retire for Trey’s sake) gave a unanimous thumbs-up toward the nomination of General David Petraeus as the chief of CENTCOM. Does this mean he’ll be running for office in 2012? [The Arena]

Wait wait. Ben Chandler has gone into hiding or something. Some think it’s because Ken Lucas endorsed Barack Obama. What gives? Will he ever say anything publicly about the U.S. Senate race? The presidential primary? Does he even know who the candidates are? Will he poke Sonka in the chest again some day? [KY Progress]

Greg Fischer will be in Murray this Saturday for a Meet & Greet at the Calloway County Public Library from 11:00 A.M. to 12:00 Noon. Event is open to the public. So make sure you go meet him to ask why he’s allowed A.J. Carrillo and a couple others to completely ruin his chances of ever being elected. [MSU Dems]

Does the senate primary make you feel bipolar? Excited? Disappointed? Jake is the absolute devil when it comes to the senate race. Also, he hates America. [BGR, TRD]

Noonthirty Update: Walnuts & Barry Invade!

We’re busy being all kinds of important, so read these updates for a while and leave comments asking us what we mean by the use of any random word we carelessly type out on this fancy contraption. Or say mean things about us for having a bitter sense of humor when it comes to politics. -JP

On “Equal Pay Day,” Heather French Henry says her daughters have been inspired by Hillary Clinton. WTF? They’re like five-years-old. Seriously, WTF? This is what the Clinton campaign puts out? Even Olivia Morris Fuchs, who copped serious attitude last time we saw her, did a better job stressing the importance of pay equality. [Clinton’s Website]

Inez, Kentucky is wetting itself over the impending visit of Uncle Walnuts, John McCain. You know how we get in Kentucky over war heroes and all that jazz. Just not in Louisville, where veterans are the devil or whatever. Just ask C&OBII. They always work against those scary military-types. [The Arena]

One million billion people lined up to see Barack Osama in New Albany, Indiana this morning. It’s the only thing Louisville media can talk about. Other than the meth lab fire on Bardstown Road, of course. [C-J]

‘If this were 20 years ago, I probably woulda come back there and socked you in the mouth!’ Remember that? Bill Nighbert allegedly told Sarah Missy McCray that very thing and it all came out during hiring investigation. McCray was retaliated against for cooperating with OAG’s investigation that ended Ernie Fletcher’s political career. The state just settled with her for $500K. Missy McCray is our new best friend and will hopefully buy us all kinds of crap. [PolWatchers]

Also, to make it seem like the only thing we read is the Courier-Journal, be sure to read this story about state highway workers cleaning up billions of tons of bird poop from our always perfect roads. It’s the best story of the day. Includes a photo of some dudes power washing the bird poop away. [C-J]

Hillybilly Days & Senate Candidates: Take 2

When you think of Hillbilly Days you don’t traditionally think of people wearing nice suits and designer shoes, right? Greg Fischer and his campaign staff didn’t get the ‘folks in Pikeville don’t wear suits and Ferragamo like Jake does during Hillbilly Days’ memo.


Seriously, who calls the shots for Greg these days? I am personally disappointed. Even Michael Cassaro knows how to dress for Hillbilly Days.

Happy Sunday, You People Surfing the Tubes

Left-wing Forces are Raging! HAHAHA. That’s the latest fear/smear Mitch McConnell pedaled at the Warren County Lincoln Day dinner. “Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., said the forces of left-wing Americans are raging and the challenge is enormous.” Oh man, we love the craptastic job Natalie Jordan is doing at The Daily News these days. [BG Daily News]

Did you know? The legislative session was tough for the governor. And Rep. Tim Firkins (D-Louisville) is a copy cat who decided to use Trey Grayson’s report card language to describe Steve Beshear. He gave Beshear a gentleman’s ‘C’ for trying to push forth an agenda in a positive way. You’ll also love Greg Stumbo’s hilarious attack on the governor. [C-J]

Michael Cassaro’s Communications Director has a blog. Yesterday that blog published Bruce Lunsford’s remarks on the war in Iraq almost verbatim in a move that seems almost like praise. Things that make you go hmm. [The Bridge]

See several Democratic candidates speak at Hillbilly Days in Pikeville this weekend. Don’t bother reading Angela Sparkman’s awful story with embarrassing grammar, just watch the video. OMG, people, don’t go into journalism if you can’t flipping speak English. [WYMT]

Researchers know absolutely nothing about the earthquake that occurred the other day. So the Associated Press wrote a story that goes on and on for like a year telling us that researchers know nothing about the quake. Some folks believe one thing, some other folks believe another and we’ve no idea why after reading the article. [Yahoo! AP]

More from the Did You Know? Department. The entire state legislature is worthless. Every member of the House and Senate vote to benefit themselves and it’s wholly legal. Welcome to the Commonwealth of Kentucky, where people like Jim Gooch and Reginald Meeks keep getting re-elected. The state where conflicts of interest just don’t matter. [H-L]