Kentucky doesn’t discriminate against the gays who want to adopt children, thanks to David Williams and bitter coward Bob Stivers. But Virginia sure does. [HuffPo]

Small pharmacies across Kentucky say problems with the Commonwealth’s managed care system are threatening their livelihood. [Debby Yetter & Mike Wynn]

Lawwwd, Bill Summers has finally retired from Louisville Metro Gubmint. The interim police chief will replace him. [WFPL]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how serious do you think these folks are about fighting the pill epidemic in Kentucky? [WKYT]

It’s time for a reminder to Ruth Ann Palumbo that she could faces charges just like this. And this guy was convicted. Voter fraud is a serious issue and she needs to be legally dealt with. No one in Frankfort wants to take action, though, because she’s a Democrat. [FOX41 & Politico]

This story about some high school students in Morehead making an astronomical discovery is so cool we have to link to it again. Be sure to read this. [H-L]

What is it about Republicans in Congress who believe THE ONION is an actual news service? PEE ALERT. [Wonkette]

Just when you think it can’t get any worse, another Republican runs a super-racist television spot during the Super Bowl. [HuffPo]

Just because we’re tired of mouth-breathers foaming at the mouth about abortion? Go read this story about the morning after pill and how it works. [NPR]

We heard from Joe Riffe over the weekend. He’s the Louisville EMS worker who had his leg amputated and is getting the shaft by Greg Fischer and crew. [The 'Ville Voice]

Sorry, if you work for a charity, you should not be flying first class. That is absolutely ridiculous. [WaPo]

Have you seen this hilarity? Damon Thayer is attacking the Herald-Leader for “misleading” despite everything reported by John Cheves being 100% accurate. Damon IS refusing to release the identify of his horsey and gambling clients. So, naturally, he’s gotta queen out about being held to the same standards that everyone else is held to. [Twitter]

According to the latest polling, Binack Nobama wins against both Mittens and Toot. [Daily Kos]

While Chris Hightower had some problems in 2010 over MySpace, the postings weren’t his and Kenny Coleslaw’s decision not to include those details is unfortunate. While it really was stupid of Hightower to have left the comments made by others on his profile for as long as he did, that should be detailed in a mainstream story. The real issue is that Hightower was stupid enough to leave bait like that for me to find. The even more real issue is that Rand’s staff (David Adams, who later threw Hightower under the bus with me) was too inexperienced to vet everything. [WFPL]

Prosecutors are warning of layoffs and furloughs if budgets are cut again. So, of course, budgets will be cut again. This is why Kentucky can’t have nice things. [H-L]

This needs to happen to Kentucky’s fetal seance legislation! Hero Virginia state Senator Janet Howell responded to another one of these stoopid bills requiring women seeking an abortion to first undergo a medically pointless ultrasound with a very smart amendment: every man seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction would also by law have to undergo a rectal exam and heart test to get a Viagra prescription. [Wonkette]

Walter Blevins, Jr. and the Senate Democrats thought they were pulling a fast one. They’d planned for him to withdraw at the last minute so no one could get their ducks in a row to file for the spot. Now they’re complaining about making a mistake. [Ronnie Ellis]

Human services are in peril for elderly and disabled Kentuckians. Frankfort does not respect its elders. [Debby Yetter]

Your favorite mormon cultist, Mittens Romney, won the Floriduh primary last night. He’ll soon share details of the white salamander and the planet(s) he believes he will rule in the afterlife or whatever. [HuffPo]

Uh, this burglar was nude and had food rubbed all over his body when police arrived at the Food World in Neon. [WYMT]

A paramedic in Louisville is being ignored by Greg Fischer and most of his administration after an amputation. Meanwhile, the Parks director was allowed to keep his job after driving drunk in a city-owned vehicle, Metro Animal Services is killing more than ever before, the head of the Metro Sewer District was excoriated in an audit but allowed to keep a $200,000 bonus. You can see where their priorities are. [The 'Ville Voice]

Every time we mention Ruth Ann Palumbo and the lack of real legislative ethics in Kentucky, we get threatened. So we’re mentioning the mess again. If Ruth Ann lived in Indiana, she’d probably be facing indictment right now. [Page One]

Some old West Liberty man pleaded guilty to selling mountains of cocaine. Really. Cocaine. All over Eastern Kentucky. [H-L]

Reality, though, is that she merely pooped in the floor while Katie Stine was running her mouth. Which is the appropriate response.

From Jack Brammer:

A penguin pooped Tuesday on the Senate floor near the desk of Senate President David Williams.

The penguin, from Newport Aquarium, was in the chamber as Senate President Pro Tem Katie Stine, R-Southgate, presented Senate Resolution 92, a measure to honor the aquarium for its contributions to the “aquatic world in general through its stewardship of sea life and penguins.”

Williams, presiding over the chamber, interrupted Stine to inform her that the penguin “just defecated on the floor.”

Listening to Stine talk would make anyone want to drop a load in the floor.

And “defecated on the floor” is almost as hilarious as “she told me she worked for a gynecologist.”

Is Janie Miller the dumbest person in state government? Here’s her statement from last night: “The Cabinet is pleased that Judge Shepherd has agreed that the identity of innocent victims can remain confidential as the Cabinet releases its records of child fatalities and near fatalities cases. The Judge recognized that the public’s interest in determining whether the Cabinet did its job is not compromised by respecting the confidentiality of those children who survived grievous injury and those citizens who come forward to report abuse or neglect. The Cabinet is currently weighing its options on the Judge’s award of attorney fees and penalties and other issues, but certainly with today’s ruling, it is clear that when weighed against the Cabinet’s efforts to protect children from unwarranted invasions of their privacy, it was definitely well worth the price.” Daniel Mongiardo is right – craaaazy. Still making excuses for doing a horrible job. [Press Release]

Food stamp recipients wish critics would spend some time in their shoes. You’ll never see something like that with folks in Frankfort, though. [HuffPo]

Even Mitch McConnell recognizes that the online piracy bits of legislation are a complete joke. [Roll Call]

Media in Eastern Kentucky spin the University of Pikeville push with headlines like this: “UPike needs funds to become a public university.” [WYMT]

Ahahaha. CNN number-reader John King did manage to really get the amoral jewelry-debt piglet Newt Gingrich in full squeaking rage because, boo hoo, somebody asked Newt about his endless adultery and divorcing and banging other ladies while he’s married. [Wonkette]

Here’s more on the shenanigans with Newt Gingrich and his open marriage or whatever. [HuffPo]

Can the Kentucky Senate essentially kick out Democratic Sen. Kathy Stein of Lexington — and disenfranchise the 26,593 voters who chose her to represent them — by moving her district to another part of the state? [John Cheves]

You can’t even drive around in West Liberty these days without getting randomly hit by some lady. [WLEX18]

Active-duty soldiers are taking their own lives at a record rate. The Army also reported a 30% increase in violent sex crimes. [NYT]

Some guy named Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race and endorsed an amoral cheater. That’s how those Texas Republicans operate. [Reuters]

So, who wants to help Kathy start castrating people for trying to get rid of her State Senate district? [H-L]

Yep, this is how campaign finance works and it’s part of the reason the loopholes ruin politics nationwide. Stewart & Colbert illustrating the coordination loopholes is just icing on the cake. [HuffPo]

Eastern Kentucky is abuzz with news from Papaw Beshear that he’s including $35 million in his budget to deal with Maxey Flats. [Ledger Independent]

Now the University of Pikeville talking point is that making it a state school will create jobs. [WYMT]

The State House approved a bill allowing advertisements on the side of school buses. Will it float? [C-J/AKN]

Kentucky child-protection workers describe hostile work environment. Imagine that. [H-L]

Oh, oh, wait for this! Rick Santorum created something called the “Creamcup Trust” with a male friend. [Wonkette]

Lexington is still burning to the ground. Literally everything is on fire or will be on fire. [WLEX18]

ABC News is set to air a “bombshell” interview with the ex-wife of Newt Gingrich. This could get pretty exciting. [HuffPo]

Smart ammunition is about to make things a lot more dangerous for guerrillas fighting regular troops. [The Economist]

Let’s see how high college tuition can get as presidents and college executives continue to pocket monstrous, multi-million dollar pay raises. [WFPL]

Remember the woman that crazy ass constable shot at a Walmart location? She’s been arrested for allegedly shoplifting at Kmart. [FOX41]

Kentuckians already know there’s going to be a wild Republican primary to replace Geoff Davis in the 4th District. [Roll Call]

Kentucky’s getting $4,577,316 from the feds to cover April 2011 storm damages to roads & bridges. [Press Release]

What a travesty! Alison Lundergan Grimes appointed communications staffers but did not appoint the meemaws to anything! [Facebook]

Congressman John Yarmuth filed for re-election today and unlike other outlets, we don’t see what’s major or newsworthy about it to warrant an entire story. You’d think it was earth-shattering news with all the hoopla today. [Press Releases Galore]

How many people has Mitt Romney fired? Fifteen billion? Something like that? Let’s just pray he doesn’t get eated (intentional spelling) by that mob guy in New Jersey. [Wonkette]

Maybe Republicrats are realizing Jon Huntsman is the least nutty of all candidates currently running for pretzeldent. [HuffPo]

Even Former President Bill Clinton thinks Occupy Wall Street needs to simplify its messaging. And the folks in Louisville should take note. [The 'Ville Voice]

Meanwhile, that city’s Metro Sewer District scandal is raging out of control and there is apparently no real accountability. Just a bunch of smoke blowing. [Page One]

Looks like copper thieves may be responsible for the latest home explosion in Kentucky. This is why the Commonwealth can’t have nice things. [WKYT]

Woah, Cecil New admitted to drowning four-year-old Cesar Ivan Aguilar Cano. This nightmarish story has haunted Louisville for several years. [FOX41]

Instant racing revenue in Kentucky continues to climb. Up a whopping 17% in the month of December. [H-L]

Americans drastically overestimate how many unauthorized immigrants are in the United States and they don’t want to know the truth. [Slate]

“Gategood Galbraith missed some chances” is how A Kentucky Newspaper decided to weirdly headline Joe Gerth’s column about Galbraith’s death. [C-J/AKN]

What? Yet another way to evolve? Yet another way to piss off the Ark Parkers? [The Economist]

Papaw Beshear wisely rejected the University of Louisville Hospital merger request. Again. [WHAS11]

A top ten list to be proud of! Kentucky has two schools on this least of the ten with the least 2010 graduate debt. [HuffPo]

Is your head assploding from all the gambling and the redistricting and the state ruining? [Bluegrass Politics]

No? Not assploding yet? Here’s another story about it to make you want to gouge your own eyes out. [WAVE3]

Wingnuts are in a full-scale panic over a “socialist” third-grade sing-a-long. We all know Virginia third graders need to be at home taking care of their husbands and working in the coal mines, anyway. [Wonkette]

While Brent McKim, the guy making $100,000+ off Jefferson County teachers, claims only teabaggers (Hal Heiner is hardly a teabagger) support charter schools, Greg Stumbo is open to them. If Brent thinks he has sway there with Jonathan Hurst or his other pals, he may want to check himself. [WFPL]

The real lunacy from the wingnut teabaggers is their new claim that the CIA teleported President Barack Obama to Mars. Seriously. [WIRED]

We believe the teabaggers are sadly mistaken. The CIA maybe teleprompted Barry to Mars but that’s about it. Or maybe the nutters are thinking about Astronaut Jones? [Click the Clicky]

Former Lexington Mayor Pam Miller has been named chairman of the postsecondary education council. [Business First]

Someone needs to clue the Associated Press into the reality that Morehead State University is in the midst of Kentucky’s “eastern coalfields.” It’s almost like these people have zero clue about the Commonwealth. [WKS]

Papaw Beshear is going to sit down with hospital officials to figure out a way for private companies to suck down more state tax dollars. [C-J/AKN]

Mittens Romney wiped off all the Santorum surge and won Iowa by a whopping eight votes. [TPM]

The same people in Pike County are arrested over and over again for drug offenses and nothing changes. Maybe it’s time to try something new? [WYMT]

You can’t even eat your lunch from a sack at a Lexington gas station without having it stolen these days. [H-L]

Looks like KRS board member Tommy Elliott’s fun within Greg Fischer’s world is coming under fire from the Louisville Metro Council. To think this is the guy Steve Beshear thinks is great news for Kentucky Retirement Systems. [WFPL]

Dear teabaggers: Told ya so. David Williams remains as State Senate President. [Bluegrass Politics]

Hunter Bates thinks he’s going to be able to replace Geoff Davis. What do you think? [Roll Call]

Here comes everybody saying they want to run to take Geoff Davis’ place in Congress. [Ryan Alessi]

Expanded gambling is already gaining attention in Frankfort but there’s no coordinated effort to make sure it passes. It’s almost like Democrats want it to fail again. [Ronnie Ellis]

Greg Stumbo says he expects legislation in the upcoming legislative session to stop pill mills. [WMYT]

The latest polling data show that the public backs a payroll tax deduction and half of Americans think President Barack Obama should lose. [AP]

Mostly, as you prepare to get obliterated today to deal with more holiday crap, you should be remember that Sexytime Herman Cain said he wants to be secretary of defense. Just don’t remember it too hard or you’ll likely wet yourself. [Wonkette]

And then you can remember that Michele Bachmann is still trying to run for the presidency. And you really will wet yourself. [HuffPo]

Or maybe you can dry heave over the headline “Santorum On Your TV Screen.” [Slate]

Child-death records show a need for more talk between social workers and doctors. This story gets worse and worse and sadder and sadder. [H-L]

The American Federation of Teachers is leading an effort to turn a West Virginia school system around. [WaPo]

How silly is Washington? So silly that some mouth-breathers blocked light bulb standards with the spending bill. [Politico]

Wasn’t that Jack Conway couldn’t contain his bitterness and disdain with the whole affair.

And it wasn’t even Jane Beshear’s sudden discovery of style.

It was this:

CLICK TO ENLARGE – THIS IS JUST A PORTION OF THE FRAME

The press was all over David Williams the entire time. He was literally stormed after papaw finished with his remarks.

You know John David Dyche, the teabaggers and the children at the Kentucky Democratic Republican Party absolutely hated that.

More importantly? A couple people just a few steps away were spotted in some very fancy hats:

Robyn’s hat was so fancy that it had its own halo and Senator Higdon was prepared to take down any Slim Jim thief on the premises.

The Senate can maintain or enlarge its super-majority and for the first time in decades, the House could come under Republican control.

HAHAHA.

If we conservatives truly want that, there is one thing that needs to happen. David Williams needs to step down as Senate president. He is the one major opposition for real conservatives to take roles in power positions.

It’s spelled P-O-L-E. Or maybe B-A-N-K-R-U-P-T-C-Y. Conservative? What?

In the 2011 primary, Williams was weak. He barely beat underfunded Tea Party conservative Phil Moffett. Had Moffett come on strong at the end of the primary and with a couple of additional weeks in hand to secure a few more funds, he would have beaten Williams. No question. Moffett overwhelmingly won in the Golden Triangle — the four biggest cities with the most active Tea Party groups.

Pro-tip: “tri” means three. The three largest regions in Kentucky make up the golden triangle. There aren’t four points in a triangle. HAHAHA.

Ask yourself, how can we expect Williams to successfully lead a truly conservative Senate when his record is so terribly non-conservative?

The teabagger mindset: clearly not based in reality.

Section 85 of Kentucky’s Constitution allows the Senate to elect a new president if a vacancy exists. It’s time for Senate membership — conservative Democratic and Republican alike — to remove Williams. If Williams will not resign, they need to vote to make the seat vacant and then vote to fill it as Section 85 allows.

Translation: Mica Sims once trashed David Williams’ wife, going just shy of calling her a whore. And now her teabagger ass is chapped, she has no idea what she’s talking about, writes exactly what David Adams tells her to write. While the rest of the world struggles to decipher jacked up sentence structure and grammar.

What a compelling case for improving education in Kentucky.

This is the best thing ever. Praise Jeebus for the paper deciding to publish this work of art.