ALERTA – DIRTY DETROIT MAYOR FINALLY JAILED!

Dirty Mayor of Detroit Kwame Kilpatrick– the sex pervert who likes to send sexy text messages to every ladyfriend on his staff– is finally going to jail!

From CNN:

A judge Thursday ordered Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick jailed after determining he violated terms of his bond by taking an unauthorized trip to Canada last month.

Kilpatrick, who is facing felony charges of perjury, obstruction of justice and misconduct of office, has been free on $75,000 bond. He has been snarled in a public scandal since January, when the Detroit Free Press reported that he had exchanged romantic text messages with his former chief of staff, Christine Beatty, indicating the two were involved in an affair.

Sending sexy text messages and lying about it to save your marriage and corrupt fiefdom sure can be a bitch. But so can taking unauthorized trips to foreign countries! Don’t do it, ladies.

Now, if only we could catch a few Kentucky legislators, mayors, et al up in a sexy text message ring…

Thursday Is Great Because It’s Almost Friday

You thought Kentucky politics were jacked up? Get a load of this race in Tennessee! HOLY WOW. Jacked up. [Wonkette]

$450,000 in checks from the University of Louisville to the National Center on Public Education and Prevention were deposited into a Louisville bank. And Robert Felner, whom we saw at a Bats game last night, has his hand in the cookie jar. His attorney says he’s helping to locate and reimburse any funds that could be in question. [C-J]

UPDATE: In the C-J’s updated story, the myth of this entire investigation being about one single grant is still perpetuated. Still. Two months later.

Speaking of the University of Louisville… Been wondering what your buddies at UofL make each year? Find out by searching the UofL salary database. [H-L]

Kentucky favorite Al Smith won a fancy award from the Society of Professional Journalists. He was one of three people named as Fellows of the Society. The other two were Charlayne Hunter-Gault and Tim Russert. [PolWatchers]

Today Rep. John Yarmuth (KY-03) will examine the domino effects of high gas prices. He’ll be delivering Meals on Wheels in the A.M. hours and will make a delivery for Kentucky Harvest to Wayside Christian Mission in Louisville in the afternoon. Wouldn’t it be hilarious to see Anne Northup helping the needy or the homeless with her bare hands?  Or donating $150K to charity every year? [Press Release]

$$$: Employee On the Take at Kenlake

God. We need a job at a state park where we can swindle $75,000 like Amy Hall did at Kenlake State Resort Park. It’s like the perfect career during this time of economic turmoil. How many MacBook Pros can you buy with $75K? QUICK! Somebody do the math!

Check out the story from PolWatchers:

Auditors reviewed records at Kenlake that covered Sept. 1, 2005 through last Feb. 29 and documented that $74,803 was missing.

Luallen said more money may have been taken but there are “weak financial controls” at Kenlake.

The audit said Hall, who handled all financial matters, was able to take cash from the daily bank deposits and replace the cash with checks received in the mail — a process auditors refer to as a “lapping scheme.”

Or check out the full report from the Auditor’s office HERE. (PDF Link)

Some Fancy Farm Highlights For Your Consumption on This Humid and Sticky Saturday

We’re watching the webcast because we’re way too elitist to be out in the heat. Also because we’re just now recovering from the plague.

Fell asleep during Steve Beshear’s speech. No idea what he said. Somebody fill us in if it’s not too boring.

We were also asleep during Bruce’s remarks, kinda. The crowd didn’t look too excited.

Mitch McConnell hates Barack Obama and has the audacity to blame Democrats for high gas prices. Nothing new there. But it’s interesting that he’d bring up campaign finance. Maybe we should bring up all the Red Chinese money Mitchypooh has received over the years. Heads-up to Mitch: You’re running against Bruce Lunsford, not Barry O.

Poor Jim Bunning showed up and talked about how Bruce Lunsford and Barry Obama are running together and have the exact same policies. Jimmy Carter is the devil. Also, Bruce Lunsford has a website! Did you know that? Hugo Chavez and Bruce are brothers and they will raise your taxes so Bruce can build a giant fortress in Chicago. Also, the world is going to end and Mitch McConnell is baby Jesus. Heads-up to Jim: You’re not running against Bruce Lunsford and you’re not making it less easy for us to make jokes about dementia when you forget that.

Read the rest after the jump…

Read moreSome Fancy Farm Highlights For Your Consumption on This Humid and Sticky Saturday

Friday Afternoon Update – Fancy Farm Is Here

Enjoy yourselves at Fancy Farm, kids! Let us know if anything exciting goes down.

Why would the Courier-Journal apologize for saying that Mitch McConnell is unethical? He’s probably the most unethical person in either house of the United States Congress. He immediately distanced himself from folks like Larry Craig when it was revealed that they were closet-case perverts but he took his sweet time getting rid of that sweet Ted Stevens money. That’s not what we’d call ETHICAL, holmes. [Osi Speaks]

In other news, Mitch McConnell is still pretending that he is the Jesus of lowering gas prices. Naturally, he’s still blaming Democrats for ruining the world. [Mitchypooh’s Website]

Just a reminder: tonight’s episode of Comment on Kentucky will air live from Fancy Farm at 8:00 P.M. Eastern. Guests will include Mark Hebert, Bill Bartleman and Ronnie Ellis. Watch it! [Page One]

From Mark Hebert, here’s a decent list of recent polling data. Check it out. Along with a review in the Wall Street Journal of SurveyUSA. [Real Clear Politics, WSJ]

We haven’t laughed this hard in hours. “The most tragic thing about the next three months will be watching John McCain try to catch up on all of the news he has been ignoring for the past 50 years. It will be like that Rocky montage where he exercises and eats raw eggs, except it will be John McCain reading the large-print edition of Congressional Quarterly and falling asleep with his mouth open.” [Wonkette]

McConnell Caves, Donates Stevens’ Money

Mitch McConnell caved under pressure and has decided to donate the $10,000 he received from indicted Ted “The internet is not a truck!” Stevens to charity.

McConnell aids say he’s giving the money to Wayside Christian Mission in Louisville.

From The Hill:

McConnell becomes the highest-ranking senator to distance himself from the Alaska Republican, who faces seven felony charges for concealing more than $250,000 in gifts received from an oil-services company.

Endangered Republican Sens. Gordon Smith (Ore.), Susan Collins (Maine), John Sununu (N.H.) and Elizabeth Dole (N.C.) all plan to return thousands of dollars they received from Stevens this cycle.

And from PolWatchers:

In a statement, McConnell campaign spokesman Justin Brasell said the campaign will give $10,000, the amount it received from Stevens, to Wayside Christian Mission in Louisville. That’s the same cause to which McConnell two years ago gave $18,500 of his donations from the clients of disgraced Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff, who was sent to prison for felony corruption of public officials.

In the same statement, McConnell attacked opponent Lunsford for accepting campaign donations from people who in the past have been accused of wrongdoing, including former Kentucky Democratic Party chairman Jerry Lundergan. Lundergan was convicted of violating state ethics law, but that conviction was later overturned.

McConnell has refused on Capitol Hill to comment on Stevens’ indictment, but he describes Stevens as a longtime friend and treasured colleague. McConnell last year led a half-hour tribute to Stevens on the Senate floor, recognizing him as the longest-serving Republican senator and praising him for his billions of dollars in earmarked projects back home. Stevens’ so-called “Bridge to Nowhere” became a potent symbol for critics of earmarks.