You need to calm down. Have some bourbon. Listen to Bon Iver. Eat some carrot cake. Something. But you need to calm down.

All you gays constantly complaining that we dare link to Martin Cothran have got to be the biggest bunch of hypocrites we’ve encountered.

Who cares that we link to him? And who cares that we think his outlook on life is rather bogus? What the hell is so wrong with keeping up with the world and having a continued conversation – even with your critics and opponents?

Blows our minds that so many people freak their shiz over that one link to ole Marty.

So we hope it blows their minds to have to admit he’s more cordial than half the people at KDP and more professional than a solid majority of the state legislature. Maybe they’ll throw up a little in their mouths and complain about something else for a few minutes.

**THIS IS WHERE WE’D MAKE SOME KIND OF JOKE ABOUT LADY GAGA IF WE KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT HER**