The Round-Up Comes Kinda Early This Evening

Because I’ve got something amazing in the works, maybe, and have to kiss a little butt to make it happen.

Other than the Koch Brothers, who funds the teabaggers in this country? [AlterNet]

Hey, ladies and ladydudes. Some right-wing mouth-breathing “Christians” have produced a film aimed at fighting the “Green Dragon.” That’s right – pals of Jim Gooch and the Family Fauxndation are protecting our white women from scary people who don’t want to murder the environment 24/7. [Wonkette]

What Kentucky doesn’t need is yet another scandal involving a prison contractor. [H-L]

Plan ahead: On Saturday, June 4, 2011, the Kentucky Folk Art Center will host A Day In The Country at the Morehead Conference Center. It’s folk art paradise. [Click the Clicky]

We don’t have too many thoughts on marijuana and, to be honest, don’t really care about it. Beyond, of course, potentially taxing it. What about you? [Marion County Line]

Ready for a nightmare? 1 in 7 Medicare patients in the hospital is harmed by treatment errors. [CNN]

The political psychology of Mitch McConnell? Shortened: Mitch will do anything for his own political gain. You can take that to the bank. [WaPo]

Do you need to see two videos of Ben Chandler being a giant pussy? Thought so. [B&P]

Hearing meth lab statistics is one thing. Seeing visual representations of those meth lab statistics is an entirely different experience. [The ‘Ville Voice]

Rockcastle County residents have started a petition drive to rid themselves of an alleged cockfighting ring. [WKYT]

Now that the creation museum is developing a theme park in Kentucky, I have a business idear: someone needs to open up a porn shop nearby posthaste. Cause you know how the flat earthers love them some dirrrrrty porn. Anybody wanna give me some seed money for that? And, can you imagine how many heart attacks there’ll be at that park due to the size of the people who will visit? [Page One]

Mitch McConnell is still spreading those Bush tax cut lies. Cute how he only wants to protect the mega wealthy. Forget about 99% of the rest of the country. [TPM]

HAHAHAHAHA CREATION MUSEUM THEME PARK

No, they weren’t kidding. BIG TIME PEE ALERT.

Check this media advisory:

MEDIA ADVISORY
Nov. 30, 2010

Gov. Beshear to hold press conference

  • WHO: Gov. Steve Beshear
    Cary Summers, consultant to Ark Encounter LLC
    Mike Zovath, senior vice president of Answers in Genesis and head of the Creation Museum project
    Grant County Judge/Executive Darrell Link
  • WHAT: New northern Kentucky tourism and economic development project announcement
  • WHEN: Wednesday, Dec. 1, 2010 at 9:30 a.m. Eastern time
  • WHERE: State CapitolRoom 110
    Frankfort, Ky.

That creation museum theme park is totally happening.

Ride them dineysores, son!

UPDATE: Okay, I know Hanukkah isn’t the holiest time of year. But is it merely an accident that these folks would hold the presser on the first day of the holiday? Really? And does no one in the governor’s office think these things through? Why, you’d think a prominent Jew doesn’t oversee a majority of state government or something.

Goodness.

Foreigner Wants Us To Remove Some Old Link

HAHA, whaaaat?

Check this email:

Subject: Kindly delete our link from your site
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2010 20:57:30 +0000
From: Nick Shutterly
To: Jake

Dear Jake.

You have a link to our website:

$2,578 for “stained plantation shutters” window blinds

This is linking to our website at shutterly fabulous in the UK and we would like the link removed please as soon as possible, the link is on your page http://pageonekentucky.com/2009/12/15/perry-co-clerk-audits-referred-to-ag/

Kindly could you organise this and let me know?
Thank you
Nick Dautlich
Shutterly Fabulous

HAHA. Yes. We really received that email from Shutterly Fabulous. We also received a long, droning voice message from the UK with this guy freaking out over a link we used to illustrate this story about an audit of the Perry County Clerk that was referred to the Attorney General in late 2009.

Here’s an excerpt from the original story:

Other hot mess highlights:

  • $19,510 spent on an office remodel that included $13,115 for a desk
  • $2,398 for four chairs
  • $2,578 for “stained plantation shutters” window blinds (like these)
  • Carpet that cost $30 per yard (!!)

Maybe some day elected officials in Eastern Kentucky will realize that they must meet a higher standard in order to nix stereotypes. Maybe.

Really. We can’t stop laughing. How dare we link to something on the internet, right?

Lincoln Bedroom, Your Tax Dollars & Retirement

In Kentucky, most everybody is at least an occasional fan of President Bill Clinton. A strong majority looks to him as the first black president. He’s one of the few people who can roll into the Commonwealth and send nearly everybody into a weak-kneed panic of excitement.


That doesn’t mean we’re fans of some of the fundraising stunts the man pulled a decade or so ago. Like renting out the Lincoln Bedroom in the White House in exchange for contributions. What’s that have to do with Kentucky? What’s that have to do with your tax dollars?

Well, it’s pretty crazy. Maybe kind of scary.

Read the rest after the jump…

Read more…

Explosive Details About Senator David Williams

Sure, we all receive tons of spam on a daily basis. But check this piece of comedy gold forwarded to us by tipsters and several members of the legislature. It’s from “Senator David Williams” from Somalia.

Won’t the mouth-breathing Muslin-haters freak out over this news? DAVID WILLIAMS IS SECRET A MUSLIN!!1! It’s on the internet so it is obviously true.

From: David Williams [senatordavidwilliams@gmail.com]
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2010 9:21 AM
Subject: Proposal to Invest $20 Million USD

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I am Mr. David Williams, a native of Somalia, but based now in London. My father was a politician before he expired in Somalia War, but it was a pity that all the property he left was acquired by our relative and his company was closed,due to the political crisis in Somalia and the family problem’s we are encountering, we decided to settle down in London through the help of United Nations who brought us here for safety.Moreover, my father got some money from the Government of Somalian before he died.

This money was being kept in a security complex for safe keeping.Nobody knows about this money. However, we are looking for an investment opportunity abroad.We solicit for your kind assistance to invest this money in your place, so that we will not suffer in vain. We want someone that is competent, honest,GOD fearing and trustworthy person. We cannot invest this money in Somalia country due to nature of the source of the fund and the family problems we are encountering and the War in Somalia, because we do not want to lose this money as we lose our father.

THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS LAY DOWN FOR THIS INVESTMENT:

{A} We want to invest ($20 Million USD) via your assistance.

{B} We are ready to invest on any business that is highly profitable in your place.

{C} Is it possible to get our money back in the next 10-15 yrs while the investment is in progress, so that we can go back to our country with our own share of the money.?

{D} We want to make everything confidential in this joint investment.

{E} You will stand to get 30% of the investment capital after the fund claim for your assistance

{F} We will provide you with the deposit certificate of the fund for the claim and onward investment as soon as we sign the contract agreement.

Conclusively, please let me know in your reply if you are really interested to invest with us. For your own information, the whole family (my mother, my younger sister and I) are ready to come to your country for a round table discussion once i confirm your interest via my below pvt email davidwilliams51@ymail.com

Yours sincerely.

David Williams

For the Family

HAHAHA.

This could be Williams’ solution to solving Kentucky’s budgetary problems.

Gays Are In Yer Military Redecorating Everything

Northern Kentucky is freaking out over a potential new smoking ban. The same shiz people in Louisville spewed when the state’s largest city took the move for better health. All that freak out? Completely unnecessary. [H-L]

John Boehner is huddling with some fancy Republican governors and Mitch McConnell. [WaPo]

Jeebus is coming to I-75. Or some big Jeebus dineysore theme park monstrosity is coming, anyway. [B&P]

Here’s hoping WikiLeaks has all kinds of shiz to shake up the corruption on Wall Street. [Forbes]

PEE ALERT: Daniel Solzman seriously considered running for office in 2012. He’s decided against it. [Solzy]

Yup, there should be greater scrutiny of nursing home deaths. That seems like common sense for most. [Bluegrass Politics]

But we also need to protect the elderly and those who can’t help themselves. Family members, loved ones, hospice organizations. They can all be worse than rogue nursing home staffers. [Page One]

Health insurance reform doesn’t do much to help the average citizen. But it does a lot to enrich the already enriched insurance industry. Which you already knew. [FatLip]

Remember Mark Foley? The middle-aged pervert former U.S. Congressman who had internet sexytime with underage pages or whatever? He thinks he’s running for mayor of West Palm Beach. Wonder what Mandy Connell thinks of that hot mess? [Wonkette]

SHOCKER! The Pentagon says gays could serve in the military with no harm. Can you believe that? Gays? In the military? Imagine that. [HuffPo]

Are Democrats near extinction in the south? That certainly seems to be the case with the Kentucky Democratic Party. [Politico]

It’s Not Even 2011 & We’re Gagging Over The Races

Will our state legislators end abuse of the elderly and vulnerable? Will Democrats be able to work with Republicans? Here’s hoping. [Page One]

There’s a fight going on for House Appropriations and Hal Rogers is involved. Are y’all askeerd to lose all that pork? [The Hill]

The Kentucky Commission on Human Rights and Native American Heritage Commission will host two workshops this week on Native Americans in the Commonwealth. [H-L]

This is great news, right? The Chinese Politburo, with which Mitch McConnell has a tight relationship, is responsible for all that Google hacking a couple months ago. [Engadget]

Republican Rob Rothenburger filed today to run for Commissioner of Agriculture in 2011. He’s the current Shelby County Judge-Executive. [SoS & His Site]

The most non-shocking news item of the day is about Mitch McConnell and his fellow Republicans lying about small business taxes. [HuffPo]

Fox still loves repeatedly pushing that small business tax lie. [Media Matters]

Really, Ben Chandler is the biggest pussy in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. The Republicans should be ashamed for not beating the guy. Absolutely ashamed. [B&P]

The Kentucky Retirement Systems is getting a fancy new investment chief. [John Cheves]

This two-year federal employee wage freeze is pretty spiff, right? Amiright??? [NY Times]

On December 9, anti-mountaintop removal activist Mary Love will speak about the devastating effects of the practice at the University of Louisville. Ekstrom Library, room W-104. 6:00 P.M. Light refreshments will be served after the talk. [Go To It]

This settlement with Dey, Inc. impacts arguably way more people than any other drug settlement in my recent memory. And it’s for $3.5 million. [Press Release]