You aren’t going to like this, Kentucky. Or maybe you will.
Here’s what Gail Collins had to say in the New York Times today:
Rand Paul, the most famous of the Tea Party-backed Republican Senate nominees, is a small, curly-haired man with cheeks like a chipmunk. He speaks in a tone of extreme reason that nevertheless suggests he is way smarter than anybody else in the room. In a teen horror movie, he would be the kid who invents the potion that turns the sophomore class into zombies.
Jack Conway, his Democratic opponent, would be the handsome football quarterback. The football quarterback who is not the hero of the film but rather the first person to have his brain eaten. The hero would be played by Zac Efron, who would never be caught dead in the Senate.
Got your interest piqued?
On the administration’s attempts to reduce global warming/carbon emissions, Conway is opposed since it doesn’t “put Kentucky coal first.” Thanks to the state’s local soft coal supply, he reminded farmers, Kentucky now has “the lowest electricity rates east of the Rocky Mountains,” and he is not planning on letting that change just to accommodate a few drowning polar bears.
Tears.
Rand Paul’s obsession is slashing the federal deficit (“our national nightmare”). Most of the voters who will be deciding the race would probably like to slash the deficit while also putting Kentucky first, but good luck on that one. Kentucky has more than its fair share of poor people, who are dependent on federal programs like food stamps, school lunches, and Medicaid. At a postforum press conference, a local reporter noted that the state sends less money to Washington than it gets back and asked Paul if he wanted to “sacrifice our take.”
Ouch.
Oh, wait:
You have to give this to Rand Paul. It’s generally clear where his heart lies, even if he was a little weaselly on his well-established opposition to farm subsidies when addressing a roomful of farmers.
I didn’t think a newspaper could deliver so much snark and meanness toward us poor white trash Kentuckians. Then I read the New York Whore Times on my poor white trash iPad.
13 responses so far ↓
1 MarionCountyLine // Jul 24, 2010 at 10:51 am
It’s hard to see Kentucky from her window in the big fancy NYTimes building with airplanes constantly landing in the Hudson River… so her patronizing tone could maybe be excused.
Also, as a good Manhattanite, Collins has never been to the Bronx Zoo or the Aquarium at Coney Island, or she would know that polar bears can swim.
She’s also correct that neither candidate is the total package, and Rand Paul remains appealing because of Conway’s inability to offer anything other than thanking people for their questions.
Although, she’s wrong that it’s a zombie movie — it’s more like Revenge of the Nerds.
2 Belknap Banquo // Jul 24, 2010 at 11:08 am
I just hope that New York’s smarmy, vote buying Mayor can continue his success in keeping teabaggers upset with Obamacare from blowing Times Square to smithereens.
3 Blowin' in the wind // Jul 24, 2010 at 11:34 am
Actually I thought the article was a hoot! I thought is summed things up rather nicely, even if she doesn’t know polar bears can swim. After all we have a superintendent of schools who went to save the polar bears instead of going to JCPS graduations in 2009.
4 Blowin' in the wind // Jul 24, 2010 at 11:38 am
Sorry typo–is should be it. We also have a mayoral candidate who thinks someone from Rhode Island (noted for squishy mayoral ethics) by way of Massachusetts is just the best campaign manager in the whole, wide world. Can we encourage him to offer his services to Providence?
5 Crutnacker // Jul 24, 2010 at 11:47 am
Sounds reasonable to me.
6 Novena // Jul 24, 2010 at 1:06 pm
“Collins Is Right On”
Gail’s column presents a precise portrait of the Senate race here. Though I am a big Conway backer, I have been quite disappointed in his desultory campaign. I hope he is not taking on the strategy of Bland Ben and continuing to say nothing. If so, he will lose. The public likes someone who stands for something–even if it is wacko (e.g., Paul, Bush, Palin, etc.).
7 tbrauch // Jul 24, 2010 at 1:12 pm
The unfortunate(?) thing is that, I’m guessing, 90% of Kentuckians have never read a NYT, probably around 30% never read any newspaper. Although, with some of the choices we have for Kentucky newspapers, I can’t say that I blame them.
And to clarify something, Collins didn’t say polar bears can’t swim, she said they would drown. While polar bears can swim, they can’t swim 50 miles to the next chunk of ice; thus, polar bears drown.
Sometimes when you are reading newspapers from outside of Kentucky, you have to fill in the blanks yourself ;)
8 Al Cross // Jul 25, 2010 at 11:10 am
It’s probably worth noting, as we did on The Rural Blog, that Collins is from Cincinnati. She’s not writing about unfamiliar territory, but perhaps through a lens of Ohio condescension.
9 SA // Jul 25, 2010 at 4:47 pm
She blows. maureen dowd too, otherwise, the NYT is great.
10 wondering // Jul 25, 2010 at 11:06 pm
What Al said. After all, buckeyes are worthless nuts.
11 Boogs // Jul 26, 2010 at 7:19 am
Kentucky can’t have nice things because, when the truth is pointed out (its population is more ignorant, poor, and unhealthy than the average), her people get petulant, not motivated. Always has been that way. Always will be that way.
12 Blowin' in the wind // Jul 26, 2010 at 8:05 am
Come on, Boogs, don’t be so pessimistic. Hope springs eternal….
13 jaded dude // Jul 26, 2010 at 9:15 am
The LA Times is better anyway, plus, their main sportswriter, Bill Plaschke, is from Louisville!
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