Governor Steve Beshear’s re-election campaign, which has Jerry Abramson tagging along or whatever, sent out this email blast a bit ago touting all the things Poppy Beshear has allegedly done.

Let’s look:

Kentuckians won’t soon forget 2009 — a year that gave us a record-shattering ice storm, significant flooding, and the worst economic outlook in decades.  Yet even in this extraordinarily difficult year, my administration has continued to support Kentucky families and build for the state’s future.

Since taking office, I have remained focused on two goals:  creating and maintaining jobs, and helping families and businesses survive this economic crisis.   When we emerge from this recession, Kentuckians won’t be shell-shocked and shattered, but will be stronger than before.

Am I the only one troubled by Beshear’s claim that he’s actually done anything the past two years? Either there is some serious revisionist history going on or I’ve been totally brain dead for quite a while. Both are entirely possible.

Creating and Keeping Our Jobs

We successfully overhauled our tax incentives program this year to grow existing businesses – creating dynamic new economic tools to create and maintain jobs across the state.  Our efforts are already paying off.  In November alone, we approved incentives for 29 businesses that will create 1,100 new jobs and maintain another 1,400 jobs in Kentucky.  I can’t wait to see what happens as the economy recovers.

We also used federal stimulus money to save or create 4,200 jobs, and jump-started the Ohio River bridges project — a critical component of our future regional economic health.

Do we need to go into the eleventy five thousand million various companies that were supposed to create jobs that, you know, ended up being a huge farce over and over again? And where is this bridges project jumpstart? Does he mean all the hemming and hawing of people in Louisville’s East End who are afraid someone from the riffraff part of town is going to walk through their yard?

Supporting Families

I am keenly aware of the pain our families are experiencing as they weather this economic storm. That’s why I worked to expand unemployment insurance benefits, and created a task force to find solutions for keeping this critical program solvent when more and more Kentuckians need it.  I launched an overhaul of the food stamp program, created programs to help families avoid foreclosure, and helped needy families secure $10.5 million worth of prescription drugs by streamlining access to low-cost or free prescription drug programs.

Ah, I get it. He’s just going to take credit for things that didn’t even happen in Kentucky. Or things other people did. Good call, Poppy.

I am especially proud of bringing health coverage to 36,000 children who were previously uncovered through KCHIP.   We also managed to balance our budget without cutting the SEEK formula, the main K-12 education funding mechanism.  No matter the economic climate, we have to put the well-being of our children at the top of our priority list.

These are worthy accomplishments in the best of economic times.  But consider the fact that we’ve accomplished all this even after cutting more than $850 million in state spending and balancing the budget five times.  

We still have difficult days ahead, but I take pride in our efforts so far.  I look forward to moving Kentucky forward in 2010.  My best wishes to you and your family for a wonderful new year.

Sincerely,

Governor Steve Beshear

Again, what the crap? Telling people to sign up for something that already exists isn’t exactly what I’d tout as a major, year-end accomplishment. But we’re obviously not living in the reality-based community with this email blast, so…

“Putting the well-being of our children at the top of our priority list” apparently means sticking it to kids everywhere, ignoring education, cutting KEES funds, proposing 20% cuts across the educational board, ignoring the shit out of education in rural areas and fighting to keep corrupt power broker superintendents protected with special rights and tons of petty cash.

I think we’ve all been hoodwinked. Is this what an enema feels like? I want some of whatever our Gas Station Governor is taking. It must be really good stuff.

You’ll need this, most likely:

Happy New Year!