What the crap, y’all.

Couldn’t make this up if I tried:

SYLVIA LOVELY & ASSOCIATES

Something tells me it won’t last long after today’s story.

Because I doubt this service will be in much demand:

Consultations

We will also provide risk assessments evaluating your written policies and procedures for board/ management relationships and offer annual retreats for review of these policies and procedures for the continued vitality of your organization. We will also train new Board members of their duties and responsibilities.

We can provide legal consultation to alert the board and management of their liabilities, duties as the governing body and the kinds of documentation is needed to back up your decisions.

Here’s Sylvia’s bio from her new site:

Sylvia Lovely jokes about how she was born in city hall – but she’s only half kidding.  The small hospital in the Appalachian hills of Kentucky where she was born was, indeed, transformed years later into the city hall of Frenchburg, Kentucky – her hometown.

Nobody is better suited to have such a symbolic birthplace.  Like many Kentuckians, her family left Appalachia for an opportunity in the factories of the north.  From humble beginnings, she has risen to become a nationally recognized champion of cities, communities and the power of people to come together to make a difference.

Working with all aspects of city and community life, Sylvia began with the Kentucky League of Cities as a staff attorney.  The Kentucky League of Cities is a membership organization of more than 380 cities across the Commonwealth.  She was appointed Executive Director in 1990 with a staff of 14.  Over the years through the growth of a full service association, insurance and financial services company, the company grew to over 80 employees in 2009.

In addition to her work at KLC, Sylvia also founded the NewCities Institute, a national nonprofit dedicated to encouraging citizen involvement for thriving communities enduring rapid technological change and global challenges of the 21st century.  She has worked with citizens throughout the nation and beyond – Moscow, Idaho; Pinal County, Arizona; Charlottesville, Virginia; Sparks, Nevada and Romania to name just a few.

Sylvia’s passion for cities and civic engagement is reflected in the demand for her services as a speaker and facilitator throughout the country.  Her topics include motivational keynotes to encourage those for whom the bewilderment of our new age is overpowering.

Trust me – you’ll want to read the rest of it after the jump…

In addition, her special expertise lies in her years overseeing a 44 million dollar insurance company for cities.  KLC is known far and wide for its innovations in risk management.  Sylvia’s expertise is in the relatively new field of enterprise risk – or of the political and reputational risk that governments, businesses and nonprofits face in the new age of transparency and accountability.  She conducts keynotes, workshops and retreats on how to stay safe and prosperous in this new age.

She is also a prolific writer – having written two books “The Little Blue Book of Big Ideas” and “The Little Red Book of Everyday Heroes” as well as opinion editorials that have been published throughout the country.  She blogs at www.sylvialovely.com , is linked to other sites, including that of Joel Kotkin, a nationally know writer and noted futurist, at New Geography (www.newgeography.com) as well as with the popular Politico.com website (www.politico.com/arena), the nation’s leading web and print publication devoted exclusively to politics and policy.  She has appeared on the “Lou Dobbs Tonight” show on CNN offering her views that always include the promotion of Main Street and the power of ordinary people.  And, she is a regular contributor to National Public Radio.

She has been named one of Kentucky’s Top Women of Influence, Communicator of the Year and Appalachian Woman of the Year.  In 2006 she was awarded Kentucky’s highest honor for public service – the Vic Hellard Award.

Lovely serves as chair of the Morehead State University Board of Regents and is actively involved in outreach activities in her native and beloved Appalachian region.

Sylvia and her husband Bernie live in Lexington, Kentucky.  They have been married for more than 30 years and have two sons – Ross and David as well as daughter-in-law Emma and grandson Simon.  Sylvia is a graduate of Morehead State University and the University Of Kentucky College Of Law.