If your audience isn’t laughing, it’s not funny. [The Political Carnival]

Mitch McConnell is gonna send your stim-uh-liss dollars to kill all kinds of Afghanis. [Politico]

Josh Sparkman is disputing the suicide ruling law enforcement made about his father, a U.S. Census worker. [Jason Riley]

Told ya Ford stopped sucking and that we’re starting to see awesome vehicles again. [WHAS11]

Will Trey Grayson stop pretending to be Mitch McConnell? Will he ever stop making shiz up? I’m betting he’ll wizen up upon realizing that Ayn Rand has a shot. [Barefoot & Progressive]

Todd “My Wife Makes Me Hang Out With Frank Simon” Hollenbach needs to lay off more than two employees. According to high-ranking sources in his office, no one does anything, ever. He’s always at the country club and Mo is constantly scheming to get Todd elected to higher office (HA!). I’ve seen video evidence of treasury staff taking naps during the work day – not on lunch or break – on dozens of occasions. [Bluegrass Politics]

Daniel Mongiardo exhibits a case of severe distance bravery. [David Sirota]

Nobama is gonna bomb Afghanistan real hard and everybody is excited! [H-L]

See Obama’s speech from last evening or read the transcript. [White House]

PEE ALERT PEE ALERT: Obama Tells Nation He’s Going Out For Cigarettes. [The Onion]