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Let’s Play a Game: Who Would Win? Part 2

October 22nd, 2009 · 2 Comments

You tell me who will win and why, in the comments, and I’ll send you something awesome if your responses are the funniest.

Please provide a winner – Trey Grayson v. Rand Paul – for each category.


RAWR! WHO WOULD WIN?

The categories are:

  1. In a Cage Match
  2. In a Slap Fight
  3. Beer Pong
  4. Running a Race in High Heels
  5. In a Dance Off
  6. Sucking An Egg Through a Water Hose
  7. Arm Wrestling
  8. Holding Their Breath the Longest
  9. Hot Dog Eating Contest
  10. Best Legs Contest
  11. Swimming a 100-Meter Butterfly in a Mountaintop Removal Sludge Pond
  12. Scaring Little Children
  13. Scaring Old Ladies
  14. Most Reps Bench Pressing 1,000,000 Tea Bags
  15. Armpit Farting the National Anthem
  16. Negotiating the Best Price for a Covington Hooker
  17. Performing the Most Gay Marriages
  18. Riding a Mechanical Bull at a Bar
  19. Depending Upon Public Transit For a Week Without a Map
  20. A Speed Scrabble Match

So, dear readers, who will win?

I’ll have a final match-up later in the afternoon.

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Tags: Contest · Humor · Rand Paul · Senate · Trey Grayson

2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Dan // Oct 22, 2009 at 5:17 pm

    Cage match: Grayson
    Slap fight: Grayson:
    Beer pong: Paul
    Running in high heels: Grayson
    Dance off: Paul
    Sucking egg through hose: Paul
    Arm wrestling: Grayson
    Holding breath: Paul
    Hot dog eating contest: Grayson
    Best legs: Grayson
    Swimming: Paul
    Scaring children: Grayson
    Scaring old ladies: Paul
    Most reps with tea bags: Grayson
    Armpit farting national anthem: Grayson
    Getting best price from hooker: Grayson
    Performing most gay marriages: Paul
    Riding mechanical bull in bar: Paul
    Depending upon transit w/out map: Paul
    Winning at speed scrabble: Paul

  • 2 Larry West // Oct 23, 2009 at 11:55 am

    1. In a Cage Match – Grayson [Paul would wait until a congressional declaration before he would fight]
    2. In a Slap Fight – Grayson [same reason as item 1]
    3. Beer Pong – Grayson [probably learned how from Bill Clinton]
    4. Running a Race in High Heels – Grayson [same reason as item 3]
    5. In a Dance Off – Grayson [great at dancing around the issues]
    6. Sucking An Egg Through a Water Hose – toss-up [neither of them really suck]
    7. Arm Wrestling – Grayson [Paul seems too much like a pacifist]
    8. Holding Their Breath the Longest – Grayson [has gone so long without speaking his views on the issues, could probably hold his mouth forever]
    9. Hot Dog Eating Contest – Paul [but only if we are dealing with healthy organic hot dogs]
    10. Best Legs Contest – Grayson [probably shaved them once in a fraternity dare]
    11. Swimming a 100-Meter Butterfly in a Mountaintop Removal Sludge Pond – Paul [unfortunately would probably let the owner increase the length of the pond]
    12. Scaring Little Children – Grayson [that goofy smile will be his undoing]
    13. Scaring Old Ladies – Paul [Grayson would tell the seniors what they want to hear, regardless of whether he really believes it or not]
    14. Most Reps Bench Pressing 1,000,000 Tea Bags – Paul [I don’t think Grayson would get anywhere near a teabag]
    15. Armpit Farting the National Anthem – Paul [so patriotic, he could probably do anything with the National Anthem]
    16. Negotiating the Best Price for a Covington Hooker – Paul [an expert in free-market enterprise]
    17. Performing the Most Gay Marriages – Grayson [Paul probably wouldn’t do it in Kentucky because it’s against the state constitution]
    18. Riding a Mechanical Bull at a Bar – Grayson [he’s been in government longer, so he knows how to sling some bull]
    19. Depending Upon Public Transit For a Week Without a Map – Grayson [busses are not mentioned in the Constitution, so Paul would probably be against government control of it]
    20. A Speed Scrabble Match – Paul [he’s a doctor, so he knows the big words]

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