It’s that time. We had a very successful ten day run of nominations for the Inaugural Golden B.S. Awards. In honor of Page One’s second birthday (Thursday!), we’re preparing to announce the winners in each category. Ten lucky b.s.ers will receive a fancy pile of golden poo, pictured at left, for all they have done and/or tarnished.

We’ve got electeds, public appointees, reporters and various public figures who are absolutely full of it. Thanks to your flood of input, dear reader, we had a tough time narrowing things down.

Here are the nominees…

Day One: Person Responsible for Legislation Requiring the Most Lubricant

• Louisville Metro Councilcritter Judy Green for her baggy pants ordinance
• State Representative Keith Hall for his Mountain Water Board legislation that he denies having anything to do with
• State Senator Gary Tapp for Senate Bill 68, which would have made it illegal for the gays to be adoptive parents
• Governor Steve Beshear for his faux $1 billion budget deficit and ensuing slots flustercuck
• Louisville Metro Councilcritter David Tandy for his rush to rubber stamp the Ohio River Bridges Project

Day Two: Reporter Most Likely to Make You Kick Your Television, Burn Your Newspaper or Toss Your Computer

• Chase Cain of WHAS11 for his aggressive attack/inquisition of Nina Mosely at Wayside Christian Mission. His passive-aggressive Facebook status updates. His silly text messaging story.
• Julie Tam of Fox 41 for the infamous blue glove story
• Nancy Rodriguez of the Courier-Journal for her original bungled reporting of the Robert Felner scandal
• Gabe Bullard of WFPL for his terribly frightening robot radio promo

Peep the other eight categories of nominees after the jump…

Day Three: Most Constipated Politician – For the Candidate Who Campaigned for Something and Was Counted On to Bring It…. But Couldn’t Produce Shit When the Pressure Was On

• Governor Steve Beshear for his inability to pass any form of casino gambling after declaring it the solution to all of our problems. It was so important to his campaign that he literally had no other plan for the Commonwealth, not even after being in office for more than a year.
• Lt. Governor Daniel Mongiardo for promising to stand up to discrimination and then summarily creating and pushing SB 245.

Day Four: Politician Most Likely to Be Investigated for Indicted in the Next 12 Months

• Louisville Mayor and Lt. Gubernatorial Candidate Jerry Abramson for his various dealings. Not the least of which include openly funneling millions of dollars to his pals at Cordish, the Housing fiasco or the mess at Metro Animal Services with its corrupt and embarrassing head honcho.
• State Representative Larry Clark for his direct involvement in the Museum Plaza legislation. Clark says he had nothing to do with the legislation and abstained from voting, yet he led the pack in negotiations. We don’t have to tell you why he pushed for it or why there’s allegedly a preliminary ethics investigation.
• U.S. Congressman Ed Whitfield for his financial connection to convicted terrorist Abdulrahman Alamoudi
• Former Lt. Governor and perpetual candidate Steve Henry for his thousands of campaign finance (& other) violations, some of which he has already been fined.

Day Five: Worst Example of Total Incompetence From a Local or State Official in an Appointed Post

• University of Louisville President Jim Ramsey for his bungling of the Robert Felner scandal
• UofL Provost Shirley Willihnganz for the same
• Gilles Meloche, Director of Louisville Metro Animal Services, for his total incompetence and unbelievable disappearing act he’s perpetrated involving missing animals and official records

Day Six: Elected Official, Appointee or Contractor Responsible for the Most Flagrant & Vile Abuse of Taxpayer Money

• Jerry Abramson for The Cordish Affair
• Jim Host for the arena debacle(s)
• Mike Gobb for the Blue Grass Airport scandal
• Sylvia Lovely for the Kentucky League of Cities scandal
• David Jenkins for the Kentucky Association of Counties stripper scandal
• Kathleen Imhoff for the Lexington Library scandal
• Transportation Secretary Joe Prather, who resigned today, for his involvement in the Ring Road mess
• Lexington Mayor Jim Newberry for Lake Dudley Webb-ington
• State Rep. Tom Riner for forcing the Commonwealth to incur legal fees over the defense of his “God is the director of homeland security” blah blah

Day Seven: Most Outlandish Case of Double Dipping

• Anne Northup, former U.S. Congresscritter and now-Obama appointee
• Charlie Borders, former State Senator and now-Public Service Commissioner
• Jane Driskell, Jerry Abramson’s spending mess
• Rick Johnston, for the same
• David Karem, former State Senator, Waterfront Development Director and state pensioner who literally filed suit because he didn’t believe he was receiving enough money from the Commonwealth

Day Eight: Individual in Politics or Media With the Worst Diarrhea of the Mouth

• Lousville Metro Councilcritter Doug Hawkins for everything, ever
• Jerry Abramson for his racist and insensitive remarks about Louisville becoming too old, too black and too poor
• Jim Ramsey for his televised foot-in-mouth disease reaction during the height of the Robert Felner scandal. He referred to 30+ faculty grievances as “anonymous crap” and continually defended Felner.
• State Rep. Susan Westrom for her possibly psychotic (or at least terrifying) breakdown on the floor of the State House as she explained her slots vote and spoke about chickens (seriously) for 30 minutes
• State Rep. Jim Gooch not just for his crazed anti-global warming efforts but for opening his mouth every day

Day Nine: Positively Vomitous Case of Do As I Say, Not As I Do

• Daniel Mongiardo for his attack on Jack Conway for hating Kentucky by attending Duke University. While he, himself, attended McGill University in Canada, a foreign country.
• Greg Stumbo for enforcing child support collection while refusing to pay his own
• Robert Felner for allegedly promoting equality and social justice while simultaneously tearing down 30+ faculty members, forcing them to flee the University of Louisville and the Commonwealth under his reign.

Day Ten: Most Self-Serving “Public Servant” Who Gets Paid Lots of Dough to Find Ways to Make Him/Herself Rich Off Public Projects

• Former Governor and current State Senator Julian Carroll for his fancy real estate deals
• Jim Host for his inevitable windfall from the Louisville Arena Project
• Mitch McConnell for raking in millions upon millions of dollars as a U.S. Senator
• Jefferson County Public Schools Superintendent Sheldon Berman for his involvement with various boards of directors (like VHS, Inc) which publicly admit he remains on-board for financial gain
• Keith Hall for the Mountain Water Board ordeal
• State Senator Ed Worley for his fancy Richmond development that will make him millions from the state in rental income
• Recently resigned Transportation Secretary Joe Prather for the Ring Road mess

We’ve made our selections and will announce winners on Thursday.