House Bill 2 of the special legislative session in Frankfort – the gambling bill – just passed in the State House.

After a huffy start by Larry Clark, an impassioned floor speech by Greg Stumbo, a speech from David Osborne (who personally benefits from this legislation), a speech by Robin Webb about how terrible the Herald-Leader is for not including non-thoroughbred horses in its stories and how it’s for the children and charity, a speech from Rick Rand about how this will solve our budgetary disaster(s), an 8,000-hour speech from Harry Moberly about how the Kentucky Derby will die without gambling and how David Williams’ proposal is the devil and how he isn’t a coward (really), a speech from Hubert Collins that we didn’t understand…

A negative speech from Tom Riner about how Jesus and all of his (Riner’s) 80 children will choke everyone for supporting gambling because whatever, questions and yelling and screaming from Danny Ford about money and how scary it is and declarations from him that too much money will be spent and how the budget shortfall hasn’t been addressed and how KEA is the devil, a speech from Eddie Ballard about how veterans groups need to be able to operate slot machines because they give to ball clubs and cheerleading squads…

David Watkins moved for Ballard’s amendment for veterans to be killed as it was out of order, a speech from known “Breck Girl” model and expert on killing babies with parking garages Stan Lee yelling about how this is Kentucky and not Kansas and how he feels like he’s at a nudist camp (seriously – and he sounded like he spoke from experience), a speech from Ron Crimm about how nobody has had time to read the bill, a speech from Jim DeCesare about how tobacco farming is increasing and it’s not fair (his floor amendment was killed when Rick Rand spoke against it, failed 36-55)…

A brief speech from Jeff Hoover about how he opposes the bill because the legislature doesn’t have the fiscal discipline necessary to handle the revenues, a speech from Bill Farmer about how he could have maybe voted for the Governor’s bill, a speech from Jeff Greer about how he was a school board member, a speech from Tim Moore about gambling corruption and its stronghold over politics and how he’s been strong-armed like a prisoner of war, a speech from Myron Dossett about how he’s going to fight for a military tax exemption…

A speech from Tom Burch about how he’s fascinated by Danny Ford and Stan Lee’s craziness (he then got attacked by Larry Clark because Larry is insecure), a speech from Tom/Bob Kerr about how lottery legislation doesn’t allow slots and how the people should get a vote (like the Governor originally said as he campaigned), a speech from Steve Riggs all about praying over ice cream and schools (really), a speech from Lonnie Napier about how he won’t buy raffle tickets or play bingo and how he’ll support race track casinos so they don’t permeate his district, a speech from Kelly Flood about how the legislature makes the peoples’ decision and how “moralists” are wasteful and Susan Westrom gave a years-long speech about her “lucky horse shoe” and paid political organizations posing as churches and how she loves chickens, seriously…

… It passed. By a vote of 52 to 45 with Bob Damron and Jim Wayne abstaining due to conflicts of interest.

So on to the Senate chambers with President David Williams it goes to die.

Get your popcorn or low-carb snacks ready, ladies, cause the circus has come to town.

Highlights of the House proceedings: Kelly Flood sitting with a giant grin on her face and a huge Starbucks cup in front of her (can’t she buy local?), Jody Richards and his fancy metrosexual glasses drinking orange juice, Joni Jenkins laughing all over the floor (she’s gotten skinny and wore a fancy jacket!), Susan Klimchak scrolling through her BlackBerry, Danny Ford constantly licking his lips and Rocky Adkins hollering like auctioneer Joe Prather. We thank all of these individuals for keeping us entertained throughout that hot mess.

P.S. Haha – Eddie Ballard asked why he didn’t get a chance to explain his vote before the vote was taken, asked if that’s the new way of doing business in the House. Ruh ro.

UPDATE – Governor Steve Beshear’s statement:

“I applaud the action taken by the House today. After a thoughtful debate, the House stood up for Kentucky’s signature industry and its 100,000 jobs and $4 billion economic impact. Everyone got to debate. Everyone had the chance to vote. That is the definition of leadership. An issue that is this important deserves the deliberation and vote of everyone. Now the question is will the Senate give everyone in its chamber the same privilege – an up-or-down vote on an issue of such importance to our Commonwealth?”