Haha, so, funny story… we’re here at the fancy Metro Democratic Club thingy getting ready to listen to Mayor McCheese Jerry Abramson discuss the State of the City.

What will he say?

Will we fall asleep?

Will we witness mass hysteria? Will anyone ask tough questions? Is it even worth staying? Why do we already have to pee?

Anyway, we decided to use a really fancy picture of Jerry. It’s at left. What are your thoughts?

Oh, and in case we lose the internets or the wifi is broken, we’ll post the “live” blog details as soon as we get back to the office. And if that’s the case, you can read our last Metro Dems Liveblog featuring Mark Hebert and Adam Edelen and all kinds of juicy, juicy.

Check back after 6:00 P.M. to see if we’re lucky and have internets. And if not, check back later tonight for the probable hilarity and boringness.

6:08 – WiFi works! There’s some bluegrass band playing. Jimmy Moore has already given me a terrorist fist jab.

Read the rest of this hot, hot mess after the jump…

6:12 - Lisa Tanner has some sort of illness so we’re trying to remember not to give her a hug.

6:17 – Kerri Richardson of the Mayor’s office just wrote in to say it’s not the State of the City–  he’s just talking about it and other issues that relate to Democrats.  Still fun.  But I wanted to clarify.

6:19 – Just spotted Jennifer Moore, Stephen George, Gabe Bullard from WFPL

6:22 - Meeting is getting under way.  Mayor McCheese is “on his way.”

6:24 - Haha.  Jennifer Moore is talking.  She just took credit for Mike Reynolds’ victory last night but she did thank volunteers.  She says KDP spent a lot of time in Bowling Green helping raise money.  We love the lies.

6:26 - There are allegedly 13,000+ without power in Louisville right now. We love the Ohio Valley.

6:30 - We can’t tell if Jennifer is giving us a death stare or if she’s trying to look through us with her laser eyes.

6:36 - Rick almost broke my fucking laptop – twice!!!!!!  Ashley Cecil here.

6:37 - Stephen just showed the LEO cover to me for the week.  All kinds of scenesters making the “OH!” face.  Nice.

6:38 - Julie Tam just bailed on the event.  Maybe she found another blue glove!  Mayor is here.

6:40 - McCheese’s pants are pulled up WAY TOO FAR!!  Kerri Richardson – make this man pull his pants down.

6:41 - 32,000+ without power, according to Jer.  It’s still effing up outside like woah.

6:43 - We’re not sure how many words he’s said about wind and ice storms…  but…  are pretty sure it’s near eleventy thousand.  “See, what had happened was, everything fucked up outside and then everyone had to visit with their kids or whatever.”  And something about Monopoly.

6:44 - Painfully distracted by how far this man’s pants are jacked up!  Almost to his armpits!

6:45 - Maybe 100 people here.  Rough count.  Everyone is already bored about hearing how you can take a shower at the YMCA or go to Walnut Street Baptist Church if your house blows up.  “What will you do when it is cold outside??!?!”

6:47 -  Since we’re bored, look at what’s coming for us via FedEx tomorrow. Sorry, UPS was slower.

6:48 - We’re having a significant problem in America in terms of the economy and employment.  25,255 Louisvillians filed for unemployment insurance in December.  Double the previous month.  “There are very few people in this room, right now, who are dying of the poverty and the no-job-havingness.”  Jerry went to an unemployment office – totally blows our mind.  He’s dropping names.  WTF.

6:50 - “I met a guy who was in charge of Global Outsourcing at YUM!.  I don’t know what that means.”  Seriously.  That’s what he just said.  He doesn’t know what “Global Outsourcing” is.

6:51 - Fancy talk about fancy meetings with Barack Osama in Chicago, where ACORN tried to convert Jerry to Islam, for money.

6:52 - “No one is interested in learning how to drive a backhoe.”

6:53 - What do you do with people who lose their jobs and can’t get one?  Something about sending them someone awful (especially if they’re old), forever, so we don’t have to think about them.

6:54 - “Maybe there’ll be an electric battery car!”

6:56 - “Republicanism means: along with building stuff like HVACs and working on foreclosures, there also needs to be some tax benefits to be buying more, uh, machinery and inventory.”

6:57 - “I could be caught in bed with a live boy and dead girl and still win re-election!”

6:57 - The 8664 people are here – we hope they cause a shit storm, maybe, hopefully, pleeeeease.

6:59 - “We are so close to the edge and it is frightening to think about what it’d be like if we can’t get it together.”  And then you all, who are already dying of the poverty, will die harder.  Also, no one has any money and everyone should pull their pants up to their armpits, to be like McCheese.

7:00 - All we can keep thinking as he talks is, “BORK! BORK! BORK!”

7:01 - We’re laughing…  which makes Jimmy Moore laugh…  and he’s sitting directly behind the Mayor, biting his lip.  Time to start making faces at him.

7:02 - “We’re gonna participate in it, major infrastructure projects like bridges and interstates.”

7:03 - He’s a glass half-full kinda guy, ladies.  He likes to think on the… zZZzzz…

7:04 - Thank goodness.  He’s opening things up for questions after he tells a story about being in Frankfort today.

7:05 - There are “wild hairs flying around in Frankfort” in case you were wondering.  Oh, gag, “The leadership of LARRY CLARK” ??  Really?  GAG.

7:06 - Question about the stimulus bill and public works-type projects.  Something about stimulus skrilla rolling into the health care industry.

7:08 - Ugh. Fail. Lights just flickered a bit.  Jerry has brought the wrath with him and we’re all suffering!

7:09 - Dan Borsch asks why the city was so unprepared for the major budget shortfall.  Mayor cut him off, goes on to talk about the shortfall  Says last year’s budget came in $13.5million short of revenue predictions, as a result had to find that cash in the last 6mos.  This year we projected the lowest growth in revenues in any of the year’s he’s presented a budget–  he’s in his 20th year (20th!).  “We felt it’d be about a 2.5, 2.6, 2.7 increase in revenues.”  Realized it was going down 1% after the first quarter.

7:11 – “If people are working, we’re rockin and rollin.”  60% of our $$$ comes from payroll taxes.

 7:12 -Will the stimulus affect the bridges project?  Jer says we didn’t submit it, but in the Senate bill there’s a $6billion line item set aside for “nationally significant projects.”

7:13 - Jennifer Moore is sitting at the end of the room, head down, resting on her fist, probably asleep like the rest of the room.

7:14 - All kinds of blabber about why we have to build new bridges, because coal barges will blow them up, 24/7.

7:16 - Says it’s gonna go with tolls if they get built.  Straight from the horse…  er, the McCheese’s mouth, ladies.

7:16 - “What’d you do with all that money Anne got for that bridge?”  Jer responds, “Anne who?”  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PEE ALERT PEEEEEE

7:17 – Jim King is here and he’s talking about the stimulus bill.  Interesting.

7:19 – Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm introduced herself to Jer, talked about Ron Goettlefinger.  “It’s a big, big deal, dudes.”

7:19 - Who is the weird guy here who keeps smiling at me? UGH.

7:21 - “This has been a decaying situation for, giver or take, oh, EIGHT YEARS.”  Tons of laughter.  Have his pants been jacked up that far for eight years?  The jury is still out on that.

7:21 - When are the 8664 guys gonna go crazy?  Damn.  Hurry up before we have to leave.

7:25 - YAY it’s over.  KBYE.  Lost time.