Ugh. Why are we letting so many women do important things? Don’t you know they have small brains? It’s science. Arizona gubnuh Janet Napolitalesbiano has be “tapped” by Barack Obama to head Homeland Security. [Politico]

Keep track of the Al Franken – Norm Coleman recount process all on your own. Because we’re kinda bored with it. It’s almost the weekend. [Minneapoloist Star Tribune]

Oh god. Pirates r stealin r oilz! This is all that’s on the CNN. This and the story about the 8-year-old kid who shot his dad 800 times or whatever. [CNN]

We’re so shedding a tear for corrupt Ted Stevens as he bails on the U.S. Senate, finally. [The Hill]

Breast pump bandits strike again! Who knew these things were so expensive? Wow. [TCPalm]

LIZARD PEOPLE ARE TAKING OVER MINNESOTA! [Minnesota Public Radio]

Known Muslim terra-ist president-elect Barack Obama is poised to re-brand America with the foreigns. Experts say so. Once he finishes stealing all of your money and converting your children to the homosex and Islam, he will apparently save our image around the world. [The CNN]

By now you’ve all heard about Steve Beshear’s allegedly fancy energy plan. The mainstream media has all the fluff about it. But when you get into the nuts and bolts of it all, you’re going to want to read Taylor Shelton’s take on it all. His headline: “Beshear energy plan a big letdown”… So. Do it. [Formerly PolSmokers & Taylor Shelton's GreenKY]

Lookit. Fancy video footage of world leaders refusing to shake Dubya’s hand: