Oddly, nothing was heard, said or done about it afterward, other than the supposed defacement washed and painted over.

The lies dripped from his lips constantly. The women were prey.

What I believe is that all of us must find ways to heal. We must all find ways to to forgive others for what they may have done, and to forgive ourselves for getting snuckered into the situation that produced the hurt. We don’t have to–and shouldn’t–forget: that opens us up to repeated pain; but forgiveness is the blessing that we give largely to ourselves. In fact we should try to look at situations frankly and learn so as to to better next time. Forgiveness allows us to move on, personally and professionally.

We cannot change the past. We can make peace with our own mistakes and try very hard not to repeat them.

For me, I’m now done with blogging, and am going to move forward into the post-Felner phase of my life. Like most people, I am blessed with much to do.

I wish you the best, Ed. Take gentle care.

Imagine that?

I won’t try to say that some of your points aren’t valid. In their time…and in their place….they probably are. What I will say, and have said in different ways in both my postings to you, is that it becomes increasingly clear to me that you have never been a victim of Felner. He obviously has never released his rage on you, never demeaned you, never treated you in ways we wouldn’t treat animals, and certainly has not altered the course of your life. You’ve just never been in his crosshairs. It’s just not possible.

For if you had, you would most certainly not be speaking in the platitudes you do. You would simply not be able to paint the whole healing scenario with such a broad (and dare I say insensitive) brush. And you would never question the use of this site for, or the validity of, people venting pure anger. You just wouldn’t. It’s that simple.

We are all entitled to our opinions. That’s part of what makes America great. Even those without a bullet in them can stand next to the wounded and not recognize their pain in any meaningful way. And, Sir, that’s what it feels to me you are doing. And, I suspect, others feel that way as well.

I have no clue who you are, though it seems others may. If, as they suspect, you are in any position of leadership at the University I would caution you to rethink what you are doing here. If they are right, and you continue to ignore some of the dirty realities here….and continue to speak in ways that indicate no acknowledgement of what they really feel now or what they’re experiences with Felner meant to them, where does that leave you when the REAL healing begins? This dust will settle in time. When it does, do you think any of these folks will be inclined to want to follow you on that path of healing? I would say no. Or, more precisely, I know I would not.

You said in an earlier post that you strive to treat each person with dignity and respect, but fear you have fallen short in that area. This might be a good time and place to re-energize those efforts and goals.

All of it certainly involves your choices. Choices of how you relate to these folks during this ugly time, and choices of how you lead.

Be that as it may, it seems we may have to agree to disagree on what this blog site is really for, and what path each of us needs to take in dealing with this.