Did you know? Millions and millions of tons of scary, nasty, poisonous prescription drugs are in the Louisville water supply and we’re all going to die!

For real (kinda):

Trace amounts of pharmaceutical drugs are lurking in Louisville’s drinking water, including one used to treat people with bipolar disorder and alcohol withdrawal, and another prescribed to combat seizures.
…
The findings came as no surprise to Judy Petersen, executive director of the Kentucky Waterways Alliance, a group that lobbies for cleaner rivers and lakes.

“There is a drug cocktail, if you will, in our nation’s waters,” Petersen said, adding that there’s little known about how those drugs might be affecting people or the environment. “We’re kind of flying in the dark.”

Louisville Water Co. officials acknowledged an increased concern of the potential health effects of trace amounts of drugs in drinking water, even as they noted there are no national standards for pharmaceutical chemicals in the water supply.

And this part should make you even happier:

How do the drugs get into the water?

People take pills. Their bodies absorb some of the medication, but the rest of it passes through and is flushed down toilets.